Lizards and Almond Crust {part 1}

Intoduction:
Babette had a hot little brother… once upon a time. Beatrice had a beautiful older brother…but he turned bad on me.
Beatrice:
Now were was I? Oh yeah! As I was saying, he was very hot but found the particular company of Mildred very enjoyable which vexed the plain Beatrice.
Babette:
This chick keeps interrupting me and my predicament. So he went all the way to Monaco and found this lip smacking’ girl who sips and inhales smoke livers, and he is now in the presence of her a lot.
Beatrice:
But yeah as I was saying. Mr. Donald was taken by Miss Mildred’s sexy body. But she did not like him, so he moved far, far away into the land of totally lovesick platypuses. And now the two old maids in this tall tale sit moping about all these matters. Yes they will be old maid for a few more years or two!
Babette:
Me! I will get over him, *heart wrenching sobs* and I will just go find another man to suit my fancy.
Beatrice:
And as for me… *an evil laugh fills the air* I will travel the… creek with the hottest, nicest, cutest, love-ablest dude in the west, tarorizing northwoods of Alaska!
Babette:
I will not only find a man after my own fancy, but also someone who out does that chick writing up there! And heck no! I do not want to go traveling the creek in Alaska!!!
Beatrice:
Well then! Well then! What do you propose to do miss Fancy?!!! I’m sure you will enjoy many evenings going to balls (at which the romantic older brother attends) and spilling hot irish coffee on… un… wait expecting gentlemen and their Bass (pale ale….which is the best beer ever) drinking wives! ;)
To be continued!