It is finally here! The long awaited nice weather! And boy is it refreshing.
Channing announced, "I saw a fly today." My dad just laughed and said, "Oh, just wait...."
A fella by the name of Mark has been staying with us quite a bit over the last few months. He has a 80's Honda dirt bike and all of the boys have spent a good deal of time zipping around the farm on it. ...and that includes my dad!
Yesterday Channing decided it was time for me to try it out. He gave me a ride first and then convinced me that I could drive it myself. All of that clutch, brake, throttle, gear stuff is foreign to me, but I made it around the yard a few times and even went into 2nd gear!!! Haha.... yeah, I know, not that fast, but it was awesome!
A little calf was born yesterday and it decided Paddy was it's mother. Where ever Paddy went the calf was sure to go! It was adorable. I happened to catch them resting together in the evening sun:
Paddy said of the weather, "I think this must have been what it felt like in the garden of Eden."
Nellie is as cute as ever in her barn boots and ball cap! Always up to something!
And things are growing! New life, sunshine, the smell of dirt and earth in the air. The birds are tweeting, the sky is blue... nope, no green grass yet but I bet it'll be here in a day or two. It's simply glorious.
The hardest part about Spring is remembering that the ol' white skin isn't used to the heavy rays of light. I'll admit, I got a little burn yesterday. ...it was worth it!
Today everyone is outside busy at work. The house is so quiet now. In the winter there's hardly a solitary moment when indoors. But winter's long rest is over. We'll be making up for all of that down time with the endless tasks to be done on the farm.
Even now the guys, under Mom's supervision, are digging a hole and transplanting a peach tree. Chances are, I'll sneak out and do something fun later on but for now I get to do the indoor tasks: dinner, dusting, dishes... all that good stuff. I don't mind it though. I'm just glad to be a part of it all!
Anyways, it's time to be off!
"....they found their path going downwards,and before long they were in a valley filled almost entirely with a mighty growth of oaks. "Is there no end to this accursed forest?" said Thorin. "Somebody must climb a tree and see if he can get his head above the roof and have a look round. The only way is to choose the tallest tree that overhangs the path." Of course "somebody" meant Bilbo. They chose him, because to be of any use the climber must get his head above the topmost leaves, and so he must be light enough for the highest and slenderest branches to bear him. Poor Mr Baggins had never had much practice in climbing trees, but they hoisted him up into the lowest branches of an enormous oak that grew right out into the path, and up he had to go as best he could. He pushed his way through the tangled twigs with many a slap in the eye; he was greened and grimed from the old bark of the greater boughs; more than once he slipped an caught himself just in time; and at last, after a dreadful struggle in a difficult place where there seemed to be no convenient branches at all, he got near the top. All the time he was wondering whether there were spiders in the tree, and how he was going to get down again (except by falling). In the end he poked his head above the roof of leaves, and then he found spiders all right. But they were only small ones of ordinary size, and they were after the butterflies. Bilbo's eyes were nearly blinded by the light. He could hear the dwarves shouting up at him from far below, but he could not answer, only hold on and blink. The sun was shining brilliantly, and it was a long while before he could bear it. When he could, he saw all round him a sea of dark green, ruffled here and there by the breeze; and there were everywhere hundreds of butterflies. I expect they were a kind of "purple emperor", a butterfly that loves the tops of oak-woods, but these were not purple at all, they were a dark dark velvety black without any markings to be seen. He looked at the "black emperors" for a long time, and enjoyed the feel of the breeze in his hair and on his face; but at length the cries of the dwarves, who were now simply stamping with impatience down below, reminded him of his real business. It was no good. Gaze as much as he might, he could see no end to the trees and the leaves in any direction. His heart, that had been lightened by the sight of the sun and the feel of the wind, sank back into his toes: there was no food to go back to down below. Actually, as I have told you, they were not far off the edge of the forest; and if Bilbo had had the sense to see it, the tree that he had climbed, though it was tall in itself, was standing near the bottom of a wide valley, so that from its top the trees seemed to swell up all round like the edges of a great bowl, and he could not expect to see how far the forest lasted. Still he did not see this, and he climbed down full of despair. He got to the bottom again at last, scratched, hot, and miserable, and he could not see anything in the gloom below when he got there. His report soon made the others as miserable as he was. "The forest goes on for ever and ever and ever in all directions! Whatever shall we do? And what is the use of sending a hobbit!" they cried, as if it was his fault. They did not care tuppence about the butterflies, and were only made more angry when he told them of the beautiful breeze, which they were too heavy to climb up and feel."
It's likely you've heard of The Hobbit. The fantastical tale by J.R.R. Tolkien about a wizard, dwarves, and a hobbit named Bilbo Baggins who set out on a quest to regain the Lonely Mountain from the dragon Smog.
There are many things to be said about such literature and a debate could be had on the rights and wrongs therein, but I do not venture to tackle such a subject today. Rather, my purpose of bringing up the trouble in Mirkwood is because it came to mind the other day as I talked with a friend, who is lost in the world, about Jesus Christ...
As the adventurers (the dwarves and the hobbit) were traveling through Mirkwood the forrest was so dense that they could not tell which way they should go. And so Bilbo, because he was the smallest, was elected to scale a very tall Mirkwood tree to see if the destination and a direction could be seen.
Now maybe J.R.R. Tolkien would roll in his grave at my proposal, but lets just pretend for one moment that Bilbo climbed to the top of that oak and, not only was he struck by the glory of the sun, he also saw the end of the forest and the Lonely Mountain in the distance.
So now pretend this is you.
You're on a journey, and lost in the forest you have climbed to the top of the tree, and have discovered the appropriate direction to travel in. You come back down and begin to tell all of your friends, and any other people you may come across on your way, how to get to the Lonely Mountain.
....but they don't believe you!
It is likewise, oftentimes, the case in trying to tell people about Jesus Christ and what he has done to pay for our sins. You've seen the light, you know the way and you're eager to share the good news with anyone. You've climbed to the top of the tree and beheld Glory in the distance. "This is the way, folks! Just walk in this direction! This pathway is safe!" ...but instead, others are determined to carry on their own way, stuck in the brambles, thorns cutting at them as they go... headed in the wrong direction, only to end up in a deadly, swampy mire.
A number of years ago I picked up the dictionary and discovered, to my delight, that there were a number of wonderful words in the "D" section (Oh, the joys of alliteration!). I wrote a poem and showed it to my older brother who thought it was incredible. I was elated at his response but had no idea why he liked it so much until I'd grown older and had had more experience in the world:
Today you became convinced of the world and it's dissolution, And you could not fall asleep tonight 'till you came to a conclusion. Discontent with how things went you strove to make discouraged, Those who mayhap will fall a prey to this destructive current. This world is like a busy street full of dissonance, and of this distorted place you wish to keep it at a distance. You try in vain to explain but soon become distraught, because most people turn away and hearken to you naught. No greater inspiration comes to your soul you see, Than when you're in the situation of divulging the mystery.
There are so many lost souls out there. Some look for the truth. Some would rather ignore the idea of eternity and spend their time gaining the world and losing their own soul. (Mark 8:36)
It is interesting that we Christians are so timid about sharing the way of life with others. We are taught by the world to have good manners. We are taught to respect other people's beliefs, differences; embrace diversity. And if you try to tell someone something they do not want to hear it is considered being aggressive or shoving it down their throat.
Sure, there is an element of courtesy and kindness that we all must possess when talking and sharing with others, but lately I have noticed that the Bible tells us to be quite convincing in very forward ways:
to Persuade.to Make. to Preach. to be Bold.
It says to be bold and not ashamed of the gospel of Christ. (Rom. 1:16, Eph 6:19) It says to make all men see what is the mystery of the fellowship. (Eph. 3:9) It says to be constantly ready to preach the gospel... in season, out of season (2 Tim. 4:2). It says to have your feet shod with the preparation of the gospel. (Eph. 6:15) It says to persuade men. (2 Cor. 5:11)
And yet, as I stated above, adding to all of this speaking the truth in love (Eph. 4:15).
Having your words seasoned with grace (Col. 4:6). Having sound speech
(Titus 2:8).
Quite a challenge to find a good balance between the two, if you ask me.
Paul, the apostle, tells about being an ambassador: We're not just sitting around waiting for people to approach us with questions of eternity. Negative responses from people should not shut us up either. 1 Corinthians 15:57-58 says, "But thanks be to God, which giveth us the victory through our Lord Jesus Christ. Therefore,
my beloved brethren, be ye stedfast, unmoveable, always abounding in
the work of the Lord, forasmuch as ye know that your labour is not in
vain in the Lord." In Philippians we are told, "That at the name of Jesus every knee should bow, of things in heaven, and things in earth, and things under the earth; And that every tongue should confess that Jesus Christ is Lord, to the glory of God the Father. Wherefore,
my beloved, as ye have always obeyed, not as in my presence only, but
now much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and
trembling. For it is God which worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure. Do all things without murmurings and disputings: That
ye may be blameless and harmless, the sons of God, without rebuke, in
the midst of a crooked and perverse nation, among whom ye shine as
lights in the world; Holding forth the word of life; that I may rejoice in the day of Christ, that I have not run in vain, neither laboured in vain."
Let's say you're walking down a road, happen to hear from a passerby that farther ahead on the road you're traveling there's a dead end and told that if you take this other road you will get to paradise. So you change course. Would you just let others keep on heading in the wrong direction hoping that someone else will happen to tell them the news? Somebody's got to be that someone so why shouldn't it be you and me?
Romans 10:13-15
For whosoever shall call upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.
How
then shall they call on him in whom they have not believed?
and how
shall they believe in him of whom they have not heard?
and how shall
they hear without a preacher?
And
how shall they preach, except they be sent?
as it is written,
How
beautiful are the feet of them that preach the gospel of peace,
While trying to help my parents get an online form sent out today (and after already scanning, cropping and editing my brains out), the computer tells me that it will only accept a PDF file instead of the JPG file that I'd selected. FRUSTRATION! So after failed attempts to rectify the situation I tell my mom there's more nothing I can do.... I'd tried all my tricks. She tells me to "Google" the problem (Wow, I set myself up for that!).
Of course after two minutes of searching Google I was lead to a site that quickly converted my file and the problem was solved! Better yet, I didn't have to download a program or deal with any of those hassles! It was so nice!!
So.... all of that to tell you, I highly recommend zamzar.com for ease and speed of converting files. Check it out!
If Purgatory were real, I think it would be something like driving on your way home, going through a construction zone on a freeway... late at night when you're really, really, really tired. Should I ever become a hardcore online gamer (like X-box, PS3 or something) my screen name would definitely be "The Marynater." ...I can already taste victory. ;) I'd like to get a stray cat... and call him Sabbatical. ....it snowed again today. I'm starting to think that it's because we never took the Christmas lights down from the windows. I guess I have my work cut out for me tomorrow.
Have you ever thought much about why we laugh at things?
...I mean, beyond the obvious reason that something is humorous.
That is, what is the underlying cause?
I hadn't ever given the matter the time of day until I read a quote by Mark Twain, "Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humor itself is not joy but sorrow. There is no humor in heaven."
That perspective played in my mind for quite some time ...until I came to conclude that it was true. I think of my favorite jokes, amusing movies, laughable songs, hysterical books... Humor in sorrow? I think yes.
The most epic comic strip ever, Calvin & Hobbs, is classic example of this.
YouTube can be an excellent source of humor. For example ...a little Tim Hawkens:
Or a bit of Fry and Laurie:
Or ...Julian Smith and his grandma:
Or Mark Gungor:
Or our dear Vice President:
Even King Solomon concluded likewise, "I
said of laughter, It is mad: and of mirth, What doeth it?"
(Ecclesiastes 2:2), and yet our dear, sweet Lord knew we'd need laughter
and mirth to make it through this sore travail of life under the sun, "Then I commended mirth, because a man hath no better
thing under the sun, than to eat, and to drink, and to be merry: for
that shall abide with him of his labour the days of his life, which God giveth
him under the sun."
Zig Ziggler tends to agree that humor is healthy (taken from his book Courtship After Marriage):
"A
gentleman moved into a home for the retired and on the first day found
himself seated directly across the table from a widow. After a few
minutes he became uncomfortably aware of the fact that she was staring
at him. He tried to avoid her gaze but to no avail; those stares kept
coming. Finally, after several minutes of this, he asked her why she was
staring so intently at him. She responded, "I'm absolutely amazed!"
MAN: Amazed at what?
WIDOW:
The incredible resemblance you have to my third husband! Your color,
your size, your height, your weight, your
mannerisms, everything reminds me so completely of my third husband!
MAN: Your third husband! How many times have you been married?
WIDOW: Twice."
Mr. Zigglar's friend, Dr. Isaac The Clown, gives us some marvelous reasons for developing a sense of humor:
"Laughter is one of the greatest mental tonics known to man. It is the second most powerful human emotion we as people can express (the first being love). Laughter can dispel anxiety, help manage stress, depression, fear and worry. It can stimulate the healing process. Laughter provides strong medical, psychological, social and even spiritual benefits. Laughter is like internal jogging. It enhances the respiratory system, helps oxygenate the body, relax tense muscles, and is an all around pain killer. It will lower pulse and blood pressure. Laughter can pave the way for a new and exciting outlook on life. It is the universal communicator that can cross all boundaries of race or culture.
You can't laugh and be mad; you can't laugh and worry. Stress, worry and laughter are not compatible.
Laughter is low calorie, caffeine free, no salt, no preservations or additives, 100% natural, and one size fits all. Laughter is truly God's gift. You can get high on laughter but never OD.
Laughter is contagious. Once it starts, little can be done to stop it. Laughter never felt bad, committed a crime, started a war or broke up a relationship. Laughter is shared by the giver and the receiver. Laughter costs nothing, and it's nontaxable.
Laughter is a trend setter. If we can find ways to laugh first thing in the morning, it may, in fact, set the trend for the rest of the day. One of the most constructive uses of laughter is when we can laugh at ourselves. If we can laugh at ourselves, we leave little room for others to laugh at us.
Humor can be found in just about every daily situation. We just need to stop and think, and just take a good look around us and we can always find reasons to share joy.
Laughter is saying, "I'm O.K. You're O.K." It's a way we can accept what we can't change.
The clown inside of us need not be the one with a bright colored costume and painted face. It may just be a reflection of something that was lost sometime ago. The personal clown inside of you may be the one who felt that life was a joy and well worth living. He or she may be the one inside of you that needs other people, and that can live in harmony with others. Laughter can be the driving force to make life alive again."
Ah, yes! Well said, good doctor! Mirth is medicine for the soul!!! (see also Proverbs 15:13 & 15 and Proverbs 17:22)
Mark Twain said, " Every man is a suffering-machine and a happiness-machine combined. The two functions work together harmoniously, with a fine and delicate precision an the give-and-take principle. For every happiness turned out in the one department the other stands ready to modify it with a sorrow or a pain - maybe a dozen."
So in essence, laugh a lot.
But, Mark Twain also said, "Grief can take care of itself; but to get the full value of joy you must have somebody to divide it with."
So, better yet, grab yourself someone... and laugh a lot with them.
I don't think I'll ever be a really great artist. Proportions are skewed, colors are mildly distorted, but still you get the picture. There's something extremely satisfying in getting your hands dirty with pastels so it's all worth it in the end.
You know that silly question people ask you sometimes, "If you could go anywhere in the world that you want where would you go?" ...that's not such an easy question to answer. Especially if you've never traveled much. How does one decide upon a destination? England, France, Ireland, Japan, Mexico? ...there's a lot of places that sound pretty cool.
But I googled pictures of Italy the other day and I fell in love.
Maybe it's just the way the entertainment industry has created the image of a big group of a happy Italian family sitting out of doors on a sunny day sharing a good laugh over a plate of spaghetti?
Maybe it's the simple and yet very elegant architecture... big archways, beige walls and the skinny tall trees.
Or maybe it's the abundance of vineyards of the finest grapes in the world...
I'm not really sure what it is about Italy that intrigues me. ....maybe it's just that Italy reminds me of home. My home where the simple country architecture allows productivity. Where there are beautiful grapes and fruits and crops growing from God's bountiful earth. My home... where the family sits around a table sharing laughs over some of the best home-cooked meals. So really, who needs to travel when my own shrubby, gangly country land is the best place on earth?
home, where we make all our best memories a child's paradise and a grown man's dream to share learning and laughing with beloved family home is the heart of the land of the free
If you would have visited my town this past week you may have thought it was the middle of January. Yesterday huge snowflakes fell from some heavenly storehouse, littering every scape. It seems as though winter may never leave since it has been here so long and continues it's cold vigil. As I brought in a group of cows yesterday morning, I heard a strange sound. A flock of geese flying over head! Though the steady wind bent them in a westward direction, it was clear they were headed North. I now know how Noah must have felt, standing on the ark as the dove flew back to him with an olive branch in it's beak. Even now the weather man predicts two more snow-showers this week. Yet, as the birds fly Northward, there is hope for Spring. A fellow from my church lamented the prolonged winter in a rather amusing fashion. I think his Psalm pretty much sums up the mood around here:
"A Psalm of Jordan in the Valley of Chippewa, when snows fell in April.
Lord, why dost thou mock me! Will I not glorify thy name when thou
sendest the snow in his season, yea the plentiful powder, that I may
snowboard thereon? Wherefore must I eat the bread of sorrow, and drink
the wine of mine iniquity? For thou hast caused the snow to cover the
spring lily, yea, thou wilt not suffer the tulip to
rise by reason of the untimely flakes. Behold! My head have I shaved in
preparation of summer, to cool mine head when the summer sun sends
forth his heat from on high. But now, Alas! for in the midst of this
whiteness my head is shaved in shame. Oh Lord, my God, thou sendest the
snow upon the snowboarder and the skier, the just and the unjust, in
season and out of season, still my soul shall praise thy name forever!
Only my heart might be found a little more merry, if thou wouldest pay a
little more attention to thy calendar. Amen."
What I really love about Wisconsinites is that a little bit of sunshine can rejuvenate their spirits! It may only be 35 degrees out and they roll down their car window as they go for a drive, leave their coat in the closet or feel alive again as they tap their feet to Kenny Chesney's song No Shoes, No Shirt, No Problem. Silly little things like that. Quite an optimistic group of people! Then again, you'd have to be optimistic to live in a region where you may seriously have Christmas in July. ...it's a real possibility this year, folks.
This is a pretty neat little comparison of the differences between God and Satan's influence in our lives. I've found it to be quite helpful in not making hasty decisions and being joyful and patient. :) I hope you find it to be just as useful.
God's VoiceSatan's Voice -stills you -rushes you -leads you -pushes you -reassures you -frightens you -enlightens you -confuses you -encourages you -discourages you -comforts you -worries you -calms you -obsesses you -convicts you -condemns you
...or should I say, problems? For there are several.
(to paraphrase Mr. Collins from Jane Austen's Pride & Prejudice)
I remember when MySpace was the big social networking site, though I never had one. I remember when all my friends had blogs too. Then one year Facebook came sweeping in. MySpace suddenly became a thing of the past. Blogging dwindled. IMing on your email became unnecessary. ...in fact, emailing itself was like posting an add in the newspaper instead of on Craigslist. Almost old-fashioned.
I was at a
sleepover with some friends when they convinced me to sign up and create an account.
That was in 2007. Facebook was originally created for college students at Harvard
University and was officially open to the public in 2006, so I've been a member for just about as long as a person could be a member. This also means I've spent a lot of my time frequenting Facebook.
(by the way, as you read you will see sections of green colored words. They are links to articles or video clips and if you click on them they will help you further understand the topic.)
Time Well Wasted.
If the TV and radio aren't bad enough we now have instant access to a world of entertainment through various devices of our choosing. If you have a smart phone you're always a few buttons or clicks away from easy gratification. Through the years there has been a myriad of ways you can enjoy yourself on Facebook. There have been poke wars, quizzes, all sorts of game apps such as Farmville and Mafia Wars, liking, sharing, commenting, browsing, "stalking," posts about the food you ate, or what you did during the day, emoticons :), acronyms such as lol, idk, g2g and ttyl, changing your profile picture and updating your cover photo ...just to name a few of Facebook's many pleasures. That's not to mention the number of times Facebook has changed their website by upgrading the look and layout of things. I personally think that this in itself is a tactic to keep users from getting too comfortable and therefore bored. It's no wonder that there is a growing number of people who have short attention spans and ADD. When you ask yourself, "In the course of a lifetime what does it matter?" and the answer is that is really doesn't matter, isn't it simply a waste of your time?
What John Tesh Said.
When the barn door is opened up all the way I can get the John Tesh Radio Show in on a local station. I always enjoy hearing his little tips on life. I wasn't surprised when I heard that 1 out of 3 Facebook users often get offline feeling less satisfied than when they got on. That is because people usually put their best foot forward or exaggerate things to make their life sound more wonderful than it really is. I know I was usually guilty of only posting positive things, and though I didn't exaggerate about my life being so great I wouldn't be surprised if people got that impression or went away feeling like their lives were less wonderful because I rarely posted about the negative side of life. Dissatisfaction is a downward spiral and communication is so easy that facebook/social networking can open up a can of worms for someone seeking fulfillment by starting or finding a better relationship than the one they are in. So suddenly, because it's just Facebook it is acceptable to be connected to a co-worker or friend of the opposite sex, or an old boyfriend/girlfriend, comment and like their stuff and so-on, and be in regular/casual communication with them?. Not surprisingly, 80% percent of breakups and 1 in 3 divorces can be traced back to or associated with social networking.
On top of all that... the more friends you have on facebook the more likely it'll be stressful if you'd like to avoid offending people. But more on that later...
Self Esteem.
There is, to a certain element, a totum pole on facebook. Somewhere along the way facebook became more of a caste system. If you are really cool or popular you may get 20 to 50 + likes and a whole bunch of comments on a status, pictures or other various posts. If you are a lame duck you're lucky to get one like. This may also depend on how many friends you have. I knew people who had around 3,000 "friends" and if you didn't have enough friends facebook would suggest people "you may know" so that you could improve your social standing. The more the merrier.
The Butterfly Effect.
I've heard that a little butterfly flapping it's wings can cause a hurricane on the other side of the world. This is certainly a good analogy for what happens in the virtual world. Here one day, in someone's news feed in China tomorrow. Everything you do or say can be seen by everyone you know (with the exception of private messages). Then everyone can pass on what you did with their everyone's... and so on and so forth. That isn't considering the fact that facebook will sometimes feed you "news" of a friend's comments and likes on any of their friend's walls. Talk about too much information!
Hey, though. Start a group, go on strike, boycott, spread the good news... etc. If you have something real to share with people, or your kids have facebook and you want to keep track of what's going
on in their life, or if you have a business and want free
advertising.... by all means use Facebook.
Reforming the Dictionary.
Since when in the course of history could you decided to "friend" someone? That's not even a correct term, is it? It would be more correct to call it "befriending" or "becoming friends with" someone. Can you imagine what someone would have thought if you told of a wall post? The would probably ask you what you were going to hang on it. Ah yes! We now have new words and phrases to add to the dictionary. "Friending," "unfriending," "posting on a wall" and so-on.
What facebook users think 'unfriend' means: "v. To remove a person from your friends list."
What the real definition is: " n. 1. One not a friend; an enemy."
What facebook users think 'unfriended' means: "When one person is removed from another person's friend list."
What the real definition is: "Having no friends."
What facebook users think "unlike" means, "to click the 'like' button after you have already clicked it."
...I could probably dream up another 10 examples but I think the point has been made. I won't even get into how young people can hardly spell anymore because they spend most of their time communicating with abbreviations, shortcuts and misspellings.
Dunzo.
Tom: "Meeting in one hour. Don't make it? ...you're on my dunzo list."
Ben: *rolls eyes* "Oh. What's a dunzo list?"
Tom: "You and I? Dunzo. Hangin' out, gettin' food together? Dunzo. You wanna come over to my house and play video games? Dunzo. ""Hey Tom, you wanna come play putt-putt with me?!"" No. We're Dunzo."
It is not wholly new, the concept of removing a person as a friend. I'm sure the rich and royal folks could afford to dislike and shun whomever they please. Such behavior is quite common among youth as well. You can just imagine the elite clique in High School snubbing some unworthy classmate. Still, it seems to me that deleting a "friend" on Facebook has taken friend-removal to new heights. On facebook you have the ability to remove one of your "friends"
with one click of your mouse. No discomfort. No contact necessary. Even in royal or High School scenarios it seems there would have to be contact. A brief letter, an uncomfortable meeting, phone call, or something of the sort.
But we've moved beyond playing royalty, for now people are gods of their own profile. Once someone has annoyed you or displeased you it's o.k. to remove them from your account. There is no love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance. (Galatians 5:22-23)
Now don't get me wrong. There are times to remove someone from your social networking site, but in the number of years that I've had facebook I could probably count on my hands the people I've removed. I think I am a bit unusual in that I never had a friends-list-gutting-day. I remember being disgusted by reading a person's status update that said they'd just done "Spring cleaning" and if you were still their friend you were one of the lucky ones. That just didn't sit well with me. After that I'd always wonder if I was going to be axed the next time around.
I am quite sure that when I deactivated my account there were people who
wondered if I'd deleted/blocked them, because I would have thought the
same thing. It's quite an awkward situation but I can't exactly post a
status update letting everyone know that I got rid of facebook.
(Unfortunately, that would have been one of my best status updates too!!!
Shucks!!)
It's amazing how many people you have as facebook friends that you have only met once, haven't talked to in years or don't even know. I can't blame people for thinning the forest occasionally.... but for Pete's sake, please don't announce it to the world. There should be no cause for offense. It's a just a social networking site after all. Why should it have that much sway in real life anyway? Being
friended, unfriended... whether someone liked something or not.... Seriously, folks. Let's not lose our heads.
Facebook Official.
Since when did things have to be "facebook official" to be official? If you get a boyfriend/girlfriend you have to update your facebook... otherwise it's not official. Are you pregnant? Make sure it's on facebook. Got married? Pause the ceremony and update your facebook!!!!
Not that it isn't convenient to spread the news on facebook. Sometimes it's the fastest form of communication. People don't always get text messages right away... or they might not answer a phone call, but everyone checks their facebook notifications!
If you want the word to get out by all means post a status update! ...but a good old phone call or face-to-face chat would be nice once-in-a-while.
It's not really that scary to talk to a person....is it?
Pros.
It would be dishonest to say that I haven't enjoy facebook. It wouldn't be true to say that there was nothing useful about it either. I loved the pictures. Pictures of friends, relatives, vacations, randomness..... It was especially nice to see pictures of long distance relatives. Some of my friends are awesome photographers and artists and I always looked forward to their artwork updates. The comical status updates were my favorite! Communication was usually instantaneous and very convenient as I've already stated. If you wanted to know about a party, or invite everyone to a group event the easiest way to get the word out was on facebook. If you needed to talk to someone writing on their wall or sending them a message was done with extraordinary ease. It was fun to keep in touch with and hear from friends, and I'll definitely miss that aspect. I couldn't have stayed on there for so long if it hadn't been enjoyable. There is just a fine line between pleasure and productivity.
Profiling.
My absolute, most favorite part of facebook was what my brother and I call "profiling." Most of my years on facebook were spent "stalking" (which is what a lot of users call checking out another user ...Since it feels so odd to have so much information about someone without even asking for it directly or having a face-to-face conversation). Stalking was usually a waste of time though. Collecting useless facts about a person, or "following" their everyday life details usually amounted to little help in getting to know a person's real character.
(A very funny song by Eric Hutchinson about the awkward moments that happen on Facebook!!)
Then I read Malcolm Gladwell's book, Blink: The Power of Thinking Without Thinking. It introduced the idea that you could actually judge a book by it's cover, follow your gut instinct, or look at a person's bedroom and that you've never met and come up with a very accurate assessment of their personality/character. A person, in their bedroom, will exhibit their behaviors openly because it is a protected and private space. Interestingly enough people view their facebook profile as a relatively safe and secure place. ...quite like their bedroom.
Profiling didn't mean I'd suddenly know everything about a person. I
wouldn't know about their pains, joys, triumphs and struggles... the
real depths of what made them who they are. But it was a good foundation for
creating greater understanding and better relations.
There is a wealth of information boiled down in a few simple Facebook categories. Malcolm Gladwell calls it "thin slicing." ...and gee, you really can tell if the whole pie is going to taste good by eating one little sliver.
It's All About Attitude.
It took me a while to figure out why I suddenly decided to get rid of my Facebookaccount. It was a huge change. A huge amount of my time had been spent there and I had so many reasons to stay on. ...but that was just it: Something changed when I went from trying to convince myself that I should get off Facebook to trying to convince myself that should stay on.
One day I saw myself, twenty years from now, still checking facebook and updating my status ...and the image scared me! I really enjoy that there are a lot of adult facebook users but as of now those adult facebook users haven't been on facebook for a decade or more, whereas this could have been a real possibility for me. I decided I didn't want to be a 40-years-old-and-still-addicted-to-facebook sort of person. Even now I have siblings expecting children in June/July of this year and it's tempting to stay on facebook so that I can share pictures when the new additions to the family arrive. ...and after that it'll be another big event like a wedding ...my own children... and their weddings ...their children. Where does it end?!
There are seasons for everything and maybe one of these days I'll get back on facebook and use a little more self-control and waste less time, but today is definitely not that day.
What It All Comes Down To.
In spite of the fun to be had on Facebook, I'd had enough of it. Facebook upgraded it's site for the bazillionth time and it was just icing on the cake. I didn't feel like transitioning to a new setup again. I was sick of all of the endless nothingness. Staying on to express yourself or present your opinion to your friends was pointless because people will scroll past something if they are uninterested. Someone was always looking to pick a fight. Someone was always looking to heal the wounds. The drama was unending. The pictures of food just made me hungry... and I'd be better off in the kitchen making my own real food. I didn't need to have a community of family and friends online because I already have a great group of real, live people to connect with. I don't need to worry about keeping up both of my faces.... the real one is trouble enough, who needs to worry about a whole book for your face?! And if someone wants to know something about me, they're just going to have to ask me in person or in a form of communication other than poking, posting and liking.
I'm not trying to advocate a mass deactivation of facebook accounts worldwide. I'm just exposing some of the things I've found to be problems during the time I've used the system.
But I do gotta say, getting off facebook....?
It's a breath of fresh air, folks. It's like a small trip to a warm, sunny island. I'm basking in the freedom.
(don't take the above blurb too personally. It's supposed to be funny.) ...lol
Sitting at the dinner table tonight with my family I watched the sleet hit the window, slide down the glass and gather in intricate stacks of frozen designs. It was like watching an uncontrolled, slow-mo game of tetris. Here in the Mid-West Spring has a way of taking it's dear, sweet time. Like a five year courtship or working outside on a hot Summer day. It teases your skin with warm sunshine, let's you taste the fresh, clean breeze, lets you watch the snow disappear till there is only a few scattered spots of white on the brown, mud-ridden landscape. Then you wake up one morning to a thick blanket of white. Nothing to prove that it isn't mid-winter, save the slushy remains of the snow-melt-stream that blazed it's way down your driveway the day before. You even find yourself catching a truant Christmas carol before it creeps too far into your head. The trees protest as they produce more growth and new buds. It's supposed to continue sleeting, freezing, snowing and raining on through tomorrow. Snow in April? This is Wisconsin after all. Anything can happen.
September 18th, 1926. The Charleston dance. The flapper days. The Roaring Twenties. This is a photograph of my great-grandparents, Virgil and Orpha Detweiler on their wedding day. A good looking couple, ...though I say so myself. Yesterday was the last day of my Grandma Detweiler's two week visit and it was spent going through old pictures of my dad's side of the family. It's good to see pictures of the people you belong to. Looking back to the past helps you to see where you came from, judge where you're going in the future and appreciate where you're at right now.
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