Mom Life

It's hard to believe I haven't blogged in years. Something that was a part of my daily life a decade ago is now a distant memory (typing momentarily interrupted to go help a little guy wipe his buns and try to beat his little sister to the bathroom, who cheerfully always brings the wipes container whenever her big brother needs assistance!).

Then again, it's not so hard to believe I haven't blogged in years when you take into consideration the fact that I am a mom. Such characters as moms do not have the luxury to blog nonchalantly whenever they please. I am currently on the computer while my children play happily, yet if I were to make this a regular habit I'd probably have to do it while they sleep. I guess some moms insist on maintaining the pleasures they enjoyed in their child-free years. They do so (I assume) by sacrificing their children to the god of television or some other electronic devices. 

I choose not to do this. And so, consequently, I have less "free" time. That's okay with me though. I can invest into writing blog posts that will be bounced into the unknown and wild realm of cyberspace, read by few and likely erased for some reason as the internet chances or the websites that exist now cease to exist in the future. Or I can invest into every little trying and triumphant moment that my children experience and I am certain that my efforts will go into eternity as far as my children make an impact in the world as they grow and change and become independent people.

That's an exciting thought. My grandchildren and great-great-grandchildren being the people they are because of the choices and sacrifices I made to ensure my children had a hands-on mom. I will never see those fruits (at least not all of them) and I'm okay with that. It is enough for me to know that God promises a huge return to parents who choose to raise up their children to walk in truth.

I might blog more often now. Since blogging last my husband built us our own home. We have no internet lines where we live so for a long time I was without internet (and my phone only had a 2g data plan.... hardly enough to browse the internet for a few minutes). Recently we updated my phone plan so I can use my hotspot and so that I have enough data to actually accomplish things like paying bills online or even an occasional pleasurable moment like watching a movie, etc. So, just maybe, I'll blog more now. When my kids sleep. Or maybe it'll be another two years before I blog again... and that's okay.

Sad News, New York

Would you consider abortion in any of the following four situations?

1. There's a preacher and his wife who are very, very, poor. They already have 14 children. Now she learns that she's pregnant with the 15th. They are living in poverty. Due to their poverty, would you recommend she get an abortion?

2. The father is sick with syphilis, the mother has TB. They have four children. The first is blind, the second is deaf, the third is deaf and the fourth has TB. She finds she's pregnant again. Would you recommend an abortion?

3. A white man raped a 13-year-old black girl and she got pregnant. If you were her parents, would you consider abortion?

4. A teenage girl is pregnant. She is not married. Her fiancé is not the father of the baby, and he is very upset. Would you consider abortion?

If you had recommended abortion, what would have been the results?

1. In the first case, you would have killed John Wesley, one of the great evangelists of the nineteenth century.

2. In the second case, you'd have killed Beethoven.

3. In the third case, you would have killed Ethel Waters, the great black gospel singer who sang with the Billy Graham crusades.

4. If you said yes to the fourth case, you would have sanctioned the murder of Jesus Christ!

God has a special plan for each person no matter the circumstances of how they were conceived. He has a way of turning something that seems terrible into something beautiful.

Shared from a friend. Pass it along. ❤️

Comical Like Calvin

Perhaps all this time I have to "sit around" and recover had left me with too much time to think... but as I've been nursing and caring for my son it's dawned on me that his facial expressions are just like my favorite comic strip character, Calvin, from Calvin & Hobbs.

Here's what I mean...

For instance, sometimes at night I'll nurse Wright while laying down. When it comes time to burp him I'm too tired/lazy to sit up so I prop him up on my big squishy belly (I guess that's one perk to having a flabby after-birth belly.... it's like a big water bed for the baby to lay on). He looks something like this:



(this is also a good likeness of myself when Mr. Wright won't sleep at night lol)



And then there's the nights where he's wide awake! Bright eyed and bushy tailed! He always has that cute little look on his face like, "What? I'm innocent!" ...as Mom and Dad are trying to figure out why, after three hours, he's still not sleepy!



I love how when he is sleeping he'll do funny things with his hands like the picture below, and you're like, "Hey, kid! Take it easy or you're gonna scratch your eyeballs out!" Babies have such sharp little nails, too! Yikes...



 This is what happens when we take off his clothes or change his diaper (he has this funny little cry that resembles a donkey's he-haw)...



The craziest, cutest thing ever was the first time Wright laughed in his sleep. His little laugh startled me as I'd been looking away from him and I turned to see his closed, happy eyelids and a huge toothless smile. So precious...



Then there's nursing time. This is by far the most hilarious. When he hasn't had a sip in a while and feels like he's so, so hungry, he'll latch onto the breast with this little grumpy expression as he clutches my boob:



Then he'll close one eye and peep at me with the other. I call this his "one-eyed-Jack" expression:



Then he'll come unlatched and bobble his head around in search of the boob... all the while maintaining the one-eye-Jack face:



He doesn't always have a grumpy face to start off. Sometimes he's a cute little wide-mouthed mister:





When he's almost done with a feeding he'll often have such a sleepy face and I'm constantly having to tickle him to keep him awake enough to finish. I have to remind him that he's not supposed to fall asleep on the boob... even if it is comfy.



And then you get to burping time at the end of a hearty mother's-milk-meal and after a couple huge burps he'll get this worn out look on his face! So cute! Poor fella....

All-in-all he's a cute little dude and he makes Jeff and I laugh so much.

(don't worry... I fixed his head so it wasn't falling out! lol)

He's getting more and more alert too! It's so much fun to watch his bobbley little head checking out his curious new surroundings. We really can't get enough of him!!!

My Birth Story

It's amazing how becoming a mother opens up a door to a world of womanhood that I never thought much of before becoming pregnant. It seems that every time I visit with another mother of any age the conversation now always turns to birthing and raising children.  It's not that I never had such conversations before I was pregnant and giving birth. It's just that they didn't mean the same thing back then. It's like when a friend tells you of their vacation to a foreign land and describes the brilliance of the place but it's not till you go there yourself that you can appreciate and understand the landscape, the local atmosphere and the vibes of the destination. Only now that I've "arrived", (really I've just begun my journey) can I truly appreciate the stories, wisdom and advice I hear from other mothers. Every time babies and birth come up it makes me smile when the mother I'm visiting with begins to share her birth story. It's something we women can't help but share... and something we can't help but want to hear. 

Taken on April 27th.... the day my water broke.

So this is my birth story...

It's been two weeks and four days now since the night things began to change. My water broke at 10:30pm on Friday, April 27th. I'd just put a vinyl fitted sheet on the bed mattress a few days before and it's a good thing that I did (Seeing as I was 2 weeks and 1 day overdue I don't know why I hadn't gotten it on the bed sooner)! I didn't get much rest that night as contractions, bathroom trips and my mind kept me awake. The next day the contractions grew closer and a little stronger but nothing to make the midwife change her morning routine and rush over.  My contractions were, at the most, 5.5 minutes apart all morning and oddly enough they'd get stronger from sitting and resting and go away when I'd move around. My midwife came around noon and we set about doing various things to encourage the labor to progress. I tried the exercise ball, walking around the yard with my husband, and a trip to the park with hubby and midwife to do some brisk walking (I would always get BH contractions when trying to keep up with my husbands long legged walks), lunges up steps and taking two steps at a time up the bleachers by the baseball diamond. Not exactly the most fun but it was nice to get outside in the sunshine.

I was feeling pretty tired by the afternoon and labor still wasn't progressing in spite of the baby seeming to be nicely engaged. My mom joined us around 4 or 5pm. Honestly, I didn't really pay attention to the time. I had terrible back labor that would stretch into my thighs and the only thing that relieved the ache was a back rub. We (meaning my mom, Jeff and the midwife) filled up the birthing pool, lit some candles, dimmed the lights, put some beverages within reach and turned on my Spotify playlist. They all laughed when I climbed in the pool and gave a sigh of delight. So relaxing! Oh, so the birthing pool was pretty neat. It was a brilliant but redneck pool made up of a stock tank (provided by the midwife at no extra cost), pillows and a white bed sheet under a sheet of plastic, held in place by bungee chords. After a while my husband thew on his swim trunks and hopped in there with me. We both thought it was a pretty ideal hot tub and if it weren't for the fact that I was in labor it would have made for a pretty romantic way to spend a Friday night. But the midwife kept us on track and had Jeff rub my stomach between contractions to stimulate them. For whatever reason my uterus never responded the way most women's do during labor. I never had intense stomach contractions. Just insane back labor and little braxton hicks contractions that didn't hurt at all. The contractions that I did have were irregular and not very close together. When it came time for pushing I'd literally have to watch for the top of my belly to harden in order to know that I was having a contraction and start pushing.

The midwife decided I should take castor oil... which I really didn't want to do and put it off until around 8pm or so. It was supposedly tasteless and odorless but let me tell you, it's like trying to drink motor oil or peanut butter. Ugg. Not only that but I quickly discovered that it gives you the runs! ...or should I say the shoots?!! The castor oil definitely livened labor up, so I was in active labor for probably 7 hours (2 of which were hard pushing at the end). By the end I was quite convinced this kid was never coming out and I didn't think I could do it any more. I was so tired and it hurt so bad to push. Perhaps I was too tired to quit, but in my mind there were no other options but to continue on until a baby arrived. Thank the Lord, the midwife checked the baby's heart rate continuously and it was always a steady 130. Labor didn't seem to bother the little boy who didn't seem to want to come out. Finally after pushing for a good hour and trying a million different positions and tricks to get baby down and out my midwife checked my cervix (she is usually hands off unless necessary so we hadn't done any checks up to this point) and she discovered that I had a cervical lip of sorts that was holding baby back. This explained everything because the baby's head was very low and I was fully dilated for hours. We check dilation with the old butt crack method. I'd never heard of it until I met my midwife but apparently there's a seam or a line between your butt cheeks that gradually turns purple. It's like a thermometer and the purple line rises the more you dilate. Pretty amusing really!
Anyway, once the lip was out of the way baby came in 45 minutes. I'm very glad my midwife is "hands off" but I wish we would have figured that out sooner as it could have saved hours of labor. The excitement wasn't over yet though. I wasn't able to have a water birth thanks to the castor oil and an incontinent BM in the pool (ewww!) so I finally wound up in the bed. The baby's head crowned. I could finally see my child which gave me hope that it would soon be over. Everyone laughed when I asked if they could just pull it out! I was so exhausted and ready to be done. Plus, nothing could ever prepare you for the intense burn of delivering a child vaginally. I had discussed with my midwife ways to prevent tearing because that was something I REALLY didn't want to experience. She'd told me that she'd never had a bad tear in her time as a midwife and due to the way the baby was progressing my midwife was confident that I wouldn't tear! When the baby had crowned most of the way and my mom said another push would reveal the eyebrows and ears (baby was face down), I gave a big push and the whole baby shot out! I was too tired to realize that baby's aren't supposed to come out in one big burst. Normally the head is born, and then the shoulders followed by the body. I tore..... really bad. In fact they thought it might have even been a 4th degree tear!

My son was born at 5:09am and after nine months I finally held him in my arms. I remember thinking he was so big! I tried to nurse him and eventually Jeff cut the cord and someone wrapped his wet body in a blanket. After that I don't remember a whole lot. I remember resting and trying to sleep as the midwife and my mom were cleaning some things up and monitoring my condition. They were concerned that I was losing too much blood (My midwife said normal blood-loss would be around 500ml and that I'd lost around 1200ml). The midwife gave me a shot of pitocin but it didn't seem to do anything. She finally decided I should go to the ER just to have them check me over in case I needed some blood. They were going to drive me but when I stood up to leave the bedroom I fainted. Jeff called 911.... the poor guy had trouble remembering our address! I layed on the bed until the EMS guys showed up. They transferred me to the local hospital which was a few miles down the road. They never did have to give me blood but I had to have antibiotics because my white blood cell count was elevated. Since we'd left in such a rush, they hadn't weighed or measured the baby, so my mom and the Dr. put him on a scale and he was a hearty 8lbs. 3 oz.! We didn't get him measured until later that night but he came out to be 20 inches long.
(Oh, and a funny side note: while I was in the hospital getting stitched up, Jeff and my dad had to change Wright's first big poop! Jeff's first time changing a diaper! When the midwife came for a check-up the next day and weighed Wright again, he was down to 7lbs. 8oz. Goodness, that was one big poop!)

Jeff & Wright, a few hours after birth.

Eventually, they transferred me to another hospital where they could take care of the tear. They thought I'd need surgery but luckily the specialist who repaired my tear determined that I only had a 3rd degree tear and he was able to use local pain killer and stitch me up in 15 minutes. No surgery, no more antibiotics and no stay in the hospital. (though I honestly wouldn't have minded being put out for surgery as I was so tired and would have welcomed the "nap"). I experienced a lot of firsts on April 29th. First time having a baby. First ambulance ride (and I had two in one day!). First time getting a catheter (since they kept me on a stretcher or an ER bed/table the whole day). First time being stitched up. I'm probably forgetting something.....

 After being discharged from the hospital my brother snapped a photo of the three of us together. Three very sleepy human beings.

That wasn't exactly how I figured birth would go, but I knew it wouldn't be easy. It was worth whatever trouble I went through, though. I'm so thankful I was able to have a home birth and that I had such a supportive team to help me through the process and help Jeff and I get through the crazy first week of Wright's life. I was so weak from losing blood and sore from the stitches that I had to have help just to make it to the bathroom and back without fainting. In fact I was naughty and tried showering two days after giving birth and fainted in the shower. Jeff happened to come in and check on me just in time to catch me and prevent me from really hurting myself. Yesterday was my first day at home, alone with Wright. It's nice to feel normal again (for the most part). It's crazy learning and getting used to caring for a little man and trust me, sometimes the sleepless nights get the best of me. Yet, I wouldn't have it any other way. This little guy makes Jeff and I laugh so much.... and sometimes I cry over how beautiful and wonderful he is. These postpartum hormones are nuts. What a privilege and a blessing it is to be a mother! My mind often wanders to who he'll be when he's older and I already worry about doing a good job of raising him up. I let him know often how much mommy, daddy and Jesus love him and I can't wait till he can understand how much Jesus really loves him.

 
But I have to remind myself to just be in the moment and soak up every second with my son. They don't stay little for long. We weighed Wright on Sunday and he's already 9lbs! Good heavens!
Speaking of soaking up the moment.... I'm off to nurse my little guy.

It's a due date...

Today I've hit 42 weeks of pregnancy. I've had so many inquiries about the baby coming.... but little to answer questions with because not much has changed from two weeks ago. I think the baby has grown some and I've acquired more stretch marks as a result. My feet get hot at night and I seem to be waking up a little more frequently. Not to mention the weird dreams. But you can't make a baby come if mom is healthy and baby has a good heartbeat, is still kicking a lot and is not ready to be out of the womb.

The most frequent question I get is, am I going to be induced? By the end of this week I'll start looking at alternative/natural ways to encourage my body to go into labor, yet even with that I don't feel a rush to get things going. It would be so nice to just naturally go into labor. In fact, I'm not sure why a lot of moms rush to have their babies be born.... it just doesn't make any sense to me. God has a way of working things out in His own time and why would we treat the 3rd trimester any different than the 1st or the 2nd? I think a lot of it has to do with the expectations that we humans put on ourselves. We have timelines and ways to try to organize life and any time something diverges from the expected path we start to worry because of our need to control every little detail. We forget that we really have very little that we can control in life besides our own actions/reactions to the events and people we come across day to day. We forget to wait on the Lord. Psalm 27:14 says, "Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord."

One friend commented on Facebook, "It's a due date, not an expiration date." There's so much truth in that statement. I understand that there are plenty of times when it is necessary to use certain means to bring a baby into the world asap, and I am thankful for doctors and tools that we have in such situations. Yet, if these medical interventions are not necessary, why would anyone want to rush a miracle? Ecclesiastes 11:5, "As thou knowest not what is the way of the spirit, nor how the bones do grow in the womb of her that is with child: even so thou knowest not the works of God who maketh all."

People tell me they are surprised that I am so patient... yet not once have I considered that I had any other alternative but to be patient. I have learned to be patient through other circumstances like waiting for my husband to come along. That only took 25 years. What then is 9 months? Of course I am excited to meet this little being that's been kicking around in my womb for weeks. Of course I wonder, wish and wait. But I have faith that it won't be long before all of my curiosities and questions will be answered and that day will be delightful.

Psalm 127:3 “Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.”

With Great Anticipation

Only two days until my due date.... the big 40 week mark! Not that that means much. Babies come when they will and no gestational predictor or assigned date will urge them to come any sooner or later than they choose. My friends are already asking daily how I'm doing hoping to hear some news. Yet, I've been telling everyone all along that I don't think this baby is going to come early. In fact I suspect it will come "late". This may horrify you, but a lot of babies go over due and actually setting a due day by using a cow's gestational time table is much more accurate. Not always... but sometimes. When my sister had her first baby my dad used the "cow calendar" to suggest the baby would be born on June 30th. Baby came at 11pm that very day... and supposedly over due by human gestational standards. So my "cow due date" is the 23rd. I guess we'll see what happens. My husband doesn't think it's possible for my belly to grow any bigger so every day he says he thinks baby will come tomorrow. That's a fairly safe guess as eventually he'll be right!

Who knows if I'll be prepared enough. This past week was so busy and I really felt worn out by the end of it all. Not surprisingly, I've started to experience swollen ankles and feet. Not by a lot but enough swelling to necessitate sitting down and propping my feet up more often. Baby hasn't dropped yet and is still spending a good deal of time nestled under my ribs. Not very comfortable, especially after a meal!

Jeff and I are really looking forward to our little one's arrival. After nine months I can still barely grasp that we're going to have our very own child. I don't think the reality of it all will set in until I'm holding our little squirmy baby in my arms. No doubt once I've changed more diapers than I've seen in years, or can't pass it off to it's mom when it starts crying it'll really set in. I'm looking forward to it all though and am excited about this new stage of motherhood. I almost feel more like an on-looker watching as I'm swept away by the tides of life into this new experience. That's probably why they tell you not to blink in life because it all goes by too quickly. This first pregnancy has really breezed by and I can only imagine how fast the first year of my child's life will zip past. I'll try my best to savour every little moment.

A Photo Scavanger Hunt

We've enjoyed a few Photo Scavenger Hunts in the past and so this past weekend we did another! A few new faces, a few new ideas and a whole set of new pictures.
*if you want to see some of the older scavenger hunt pictures check out Sept. 2013 and Oct. 2013*

We split into three teams. Each team had a camera (or a phone camera in the case of team 3) and designated one member to take all of the pictures. I had the privilege of being the photographer for Team Uno, but I'm not sure who the other two photographers where. The goal was to attempt to only take one picture to demonstrate each number on the list. Then we'd judge to see whose picture turned out best in portraying each objective.

It was such a challenge for each team to come up with creative ideas and we agree that everyone did a great job. Which is why....

We need YOUR help to judge the photos! Please leave a comment and let us know which group you thought captured the best shot for each task. Normally I would say that anyone who participated in the hunt cannot vote, but I think this time around we'll open up voting to everyone. I'm trusting that if you participated you'll vote without bias or favoritism.

Each team's photos will always be listed in the same order: Team 1, Team 2, Team 3.... as I'll demonstrate in the first set of pictures:


1. "We broke it!"

Team 1:


Team 2:

Team 3:














2. A creation in sand.




*person in sand is named Sandy*



3. Shadows.


*photographer also made it into this picture*




*the shadows are "<3 br="" love="">
4. Everybody with someone with a birthday in July.


*the sign says "Happy Birthday", and
Patrick the driver turned 16 in July, hence the vehicle*


*Rachel was the July birthday girl and if you didn't notice,
those bodies on the lawn spell "J U L Y"*


*the signs say "Happy"  "Moo" "Day" as the calf was born in July*

5. A Bible verse.


2 Timothy 3:6 For of this sort are they which creep into houses, and lead captive silly women laden with sins, led away with divers lusts,*the bags say "SINS" but it doesn't show up in the photo very well*



Acts 7:58  And cast him out of the city, and stoned him: and the witnesses laid down their clothes at a young man's feet, whose name was Saul.


Matthew 25:5 While the bridegroom tarried, they all slumbered and slept.

6. Wedding.


*a bunch of the adults were awesome enough to join in this photo*






7. A song title.


 The Wise Man Built His House Upon the Rock


Rescue The Perishing


Give Me Thine Heart


THANK YOU FOR PARTICIPATING IN OUR SCAVANGER HUNT!!!
*cast your vote in the comment section below*

Hello, August.

Hello, August.

It's a beautiful morning here on the farm. I'm sipping coffee and listening to the sound of applause coming from bacon on the kitchen stove. As I peak out the window I can see the robust rays of August sun lighting up my bed of zinnias. Zinnias are, without question, the best flower.

My employers gave me the morning off even though I'd already asked for tonight and tomorrow off! A whole two days free of milking, cows and the excitements of the farm life. It's very kind of them! I'll be camping over night with my two friends, Sandy and Jae,and thankfully we're blessed with nice weather. It's more of a domesticated camping trip. We're paying for a plot on a campground a few miles from my home were there will be people and bathrooms and electrical outlets. Not that I mind the conveniences but it just isn't the same as roughing it in the sticks. Maybe we'll try that next year.

Yesterday was my friend Rachel's birthday. A ton of friends came to surprise her at church from various parts of the state. It was a really fun day and it was also nice to make it to church for the first time in weeks.

We haven't been to church since we've been working every weekend to get the dairy ready for inspection. The inspector came on Friday and we now have our grade A license! We aren't shipping our milk yet because we're waiting for the organic certification to go through... and that process was on hold till we had our grade A license. Maybe we'll be ready to rock and roll by the end of the week?!

Leela resting on her mommy.

Yesterday also marks two years since little miss Leela went to heaven to be with Jesus. I can still see her cute, pale cheeks and her wisps of red hair. I can hear her little coos that she'd make when she was glad to have company. I miss her and if I live to be 100 I will see her in 76 years.

Well, it's a beautiful new day that the Lord has made. I need to get ready for camping and maybe get lost smelling flowers outside for a while. ....and the beans need to be picked. Couldn't be a better morning for gardening.

Until next time...

Child Sexual Abuse

This is the most recent article I've written for a local newspaper. It's such an important and ignored topic. I hope this article encourages more discussion and effort towards preventing and stopping child sexual abuse.

Why Parents Should Be Brave
Five steps for dealing with child sexual abuse

Last month, a sting operation was conducted in Eau Claire, WI in which 8 men were arrested for soliciting children for sex via online avenues. Stories like this make the news for one day and dissipate as quickly as they come to our attention. Yet, 1 in 10 children are abused before the age of 18, so why is the issue of protecting the innocent from abuse such an ignored topic? While there are efforts being made to raise awareness and prevent this violence, sexual abuse is still grossly under-reported. There are plenty of sources that help to educate children and parents on avoiding predators and sexual abuse. However, predators often do much damage before they are detected. The question we are afraid to ask is not 'how do we prevent our children from being harmed?' but rather, 'what should we do if and when they are?'

1. Believe and protect your child.
Only 4 to 8 % of child sexual abuse reports are suspected to be false and of the children who are abused, 60% never tell anyone. While it's true that children of single parents or adolescents from broken homes are more likely to be candidates for abuse, it doesn't mean sexual abuse can't happen in healthy, happy homes. One of my friends from a stable family talked of the kid who started out as a best friend and became an abusive enemy. This friend said he was abused from age 6 to 10, before he went to his parents for help. A parent of a victim gave me this advice, “If the problem is at school, your child stays home. If the offending party is a relative, you don't go to family gatherings. You remove your child from anywhere the offender might be.”

2. Getting past your pride.

If a child has been abused while under your supervision, you may feel guilty for failing to protect your child. Shame comes from knowing that you let the wolf into your safe-zone and left your child vulnerable. Pride comes into play as we try to protect our reputation and the image of a perfect family. Guardians are mortified that abuse has occurred under their watch and in many cases a child's pleas for help are often ignored by parents who would rather live in ignorance. Please, do not be one of those parents who allows abuse to go on because stopping it would make you or someone you know feel uncomfortable!

3. Nobody is above justice.

The last thing a parent wants to do is call the police, create a wave of scandal, and press charges against someone that they cannot actually prove has done anything wrong. Still, the best thing you can do for your child is expose the perpetrator and ensure that every effort has been made to achieve justice. It should be noted that if a person aids or abets a crime they are usually considered just as responsible as the actual offender in a court of law. Do not be a party to another person's crime. If an offender is a spouse, child, relative or someone you care about you can aid them by making sure they get proper help and cannot hurt anyone again, even if this means they'll serve time in a correctional facility. Whether or not justice can be attained, taking this step will give your child the confidence of knowing that you care. 

4. Utilize your soapbox.

We live in a society where people don't want to rock the boat. Yet, the people who molest children are successful because they're confident that none of their victims will reveal their wickedness. Some parents hide under the illusion that they don't want to make their child feel any more uncomfortable by telling the world of his or her wounds, but in reality secrecy only protects our egos. The male friend, whom I mentioned above, told me that his parents notified the police of the situation, however as the abuser was just under 12 years of age, they could not prosecute. The victim's parents took steps to warn other families who associated with the offender's family. The best way to hinder a pervert is to inform those who will listen of the perpetrator's behavior. Alerting others has the potential to save other families and children from going through similar trauma.

5. Seek professional help.

One victim told me that he was better off than many of his acquaintances who'd been molested, because his abuse hadn't been kept a secret. His immediate family, extended relatives, and friends knew of his abuse. It wasn't comfortable having his injury be made public but because people knew what he'd gone through he didn't feel isolated or abandoned. Children need to know that they don't have to go through hardship alone. They need support, council and guardians who will do everything in their power to take down the perpetrators. It is important to know that most victims of sexual abuse during adolescence do not become abusers. Though for many, being sexually abused is the start to a lifelong spiral into the darkest nightmare imaginable. For these reasons it is often wise to seek out professional counsel for yourself and your child. If a child has been sexually abused it is best to contact social services and the police.

Dealing with child sexual abuse is a heavy matter that takes careful consideration and diligent pursuit of the facts. No journey is identical, other than the end goal of healing and recovery for the abused. Some people use their scars to help others to bandage their wounds and heal their hurt. Over all we discover that others have shared our sorrows and if we stand together, we don't have to let our past dictate our future.

Statistics in this article are taken from www.d2l.org. Darkness to Light is a well-cited website and an organization created for the recovery, prevention and awareness of child sexual abuse.

For 24/7 confidential support, contact an abuse hotline:
-USA National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453
-RAINN: Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network: 1-800-656-4673
-Crisis Text Line: text 741741