4 Reasons to Get Married Fast

I posted a little teaser picture of my most recent article in the EC Journal newspaper and lot of my Facebook friends have been asking to read this article in full. One interesting fact that I didn't include in the article is that, according to this cool website, 74% of engaged couples talk about eloping... probably for any family reasons for some but also I suspect that wedding planning is just plain old stressful and elopement makes a lot of sense. Just an interesting side note. 

4 Reasons to Get Married Fast

This is not a suggestion to run out and marry the first person you come across but, if you've met that special person whom you plan to spend the rest of your life with in marital bliss, this is the case for a short engagement. According to the Huffington Post, 40% of couples are engaged for 13-18 months before marriage, 27% for 7-12 months, 23% for 19-24 months and 6% for 24+ months. Only 4% are engaged for 0-6 months before saying, “I do”. Engagement is like making payments on a house that you can't live in. It's an inconvenient state of limbo, it's frustrating and it drains your resources. You've in essence settled for a monogamous relationship, so why the big delay?

1. Less money spent. More satisfaction.
According to costofwedding.com, “The average wedding cost in the United States is $26,444. ... most couples spend less than $10,000.” Longer engagements often amount to more wedding expenses. Put a chunk of money into savings instead of a ceremony and avoid gaining financial debt right from the start. I can hear your future selves and your bank account thanking you already.

2. Proper etiquette.
Six months really is a decent, if not long, engagement period. According to The Knot 6 to 8 weeks prior to the wedding is an appropriate time to send out invitations. Since guests will have recent notice of your nuptials you don't need to send out save-the-date cards as the invitation will suffice. I recently attended a wedding that was organized within 48 hours as the groom was heading overseas with the Army. The details fell into place surprisingly well. Understandably, most people can't and won't want to get married with only 48 hours to prepare but most wedding essentials can be tackled in 6 months or less.

3. Room for temptation. Douglas Wilson wrote that, in essence, you can't preheat the oven without cooking the roast. If you have any moral or religious motivation for saving anything for wedlock then a prolonged engagement is your worst enemy. Many times couples cross boundaries with the intention that they're getting married anyway. This often ends up destroying their relationship altogether or adding guilt, hardship and conflict that could have been avoided had they simply shortened their engagement. Resisting temptation has never been a strong-suit for humans. 1 Corinthians 7:1-2

4. Keeping up with the Joneses.
After a year of planning, and many couples plan for much longer than that, every little detail that doesn't go as planned is cause for great stress in the weeks leading up to the wedding and especially on the day of. Since social media has allowed us to be a part of others lives we often feel the need to maintain a certain socioeconomic status. Sights like Pinterest give us great DIY ideas, but we often expect our weddings to turn out exactly like those picture-perfect images we see online. It's not about having low expectations for your big day... it's about having realistic expectations. The vows between two people are the important part... not the decorations.

An engagement is simply an agreement that two people will be married as soon as wedding arrangements can be made. Stop watching Say Yes to the Dress, Four Weddings and other fairytale distortions of reality and get married. Our grandparents' generation got married in their living-rooms with a few family members present. Weddings should not cause newlyweds to be exhausted, disappointed and already in debt. Rather they should be about true love, real vows and life-long commitment.

ACE's and Shoelaces

A friend shared a fascinating article on Facebook the other day titled, 7 Ways Childhood Adversity Changes Your Brain and it's too good not to share.

It's amusing because the article refers to telomeres which are,"the protective caps that sit on the ends of DNA strands, like the caps on shoelaces, to keep the genome healthy and intact. As our telomeres erode, we’re more likely to develop disease, and our cells age faster."

It's funny because the first time I heard of telomeres my friend Courtney's brother, Chris, was telling us about them and that was exactly how he explained them! A very clear and easy-to-understand analogy.

This article relates our childhood stresses, or ACE's - Adverse Childhood Experiences, with our adult illnesses. Something we've all had a gut feeling about without the science to back it up.

Really, I like information on humanity because I like humans. Understanding people individually and as a whole is a big part of my life. This article is a must read.

If - by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you   

    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   

If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,

    But make allowance for their doubting too;   

If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,

    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,

Or being hated, don’t give way to hating,

    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   

    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   

If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster

    And treat those two impostors just the same;   

If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken

    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,

Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,

    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings

    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,

And lose, and start again at your beginnings

    And never breathe a word about your loss;

If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew

    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   

And so hold on when there is nothing in you

    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   

    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,

If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,

    If all men count with you, but none too much;

If you can fill the unforgiving minute

    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   

Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   

    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Jake Weidmann

Consider Jake Weidmann, a Master Penman and artist. A glance at his website is enough to amaze those who prefer electronic devices and those who hate the written word. His work is a stunning combination of precision, perfection and perseverance. Not many people have that kind of dedication. It's rare, but it's inspiring nonetheless, shaking us from our predilection for mere and mediocre deeds.  We're tied to our tiresome keyboards and touch-screens, but what about the quaint feel of fresh graphite as it meets the fibrous, white plains of a blank paper?

Write. Write often. Write on paper. Write with a pen or a pencil. Because it's not just a form of communication, it's art.
...

"The pen is mightier than the sword" - Edward Bulwer-Lytton

Calvsie On Air!

Listen to Rob on Sunday nights at 9pm!! It's big band, jazz and blues tonight! =D

http://caseyweederman.com/rkol/

...just press the play button in the little funky black square! :)

Salve

I made salve once again. I first tried making salve two years ago... and my supply (on top of giving a bunch away to friends) has lasted up to this year. It quickly became an essential part of the medicine cabinet so it was easy to decide to make again. I went out and collected flowers and herbs and weeds and warmed them in a crock pot for about a week. Things like plantain, elderflower, red clover, comfrey root powder, yarrow leaf, common mallow and wild rose petals. This time I ordered some cute jars off of Amazon and they arrived just in time for me to add wax to the salve and jar it.

Here are some pictures of the process:

...and August.

I've been taking a lot of photos lately... trying to learn how to use my manual settings on this crazy big Canon. I thought I'd share a few with you.