Tuesday, September 30, 2014

30 Days Has September

Swallowed up already.... these short days of September. It feels like a blink. It once was and now is not. You sit back thinking wondering, where has the time gone? And yet this is life... so God tells us, "There is nothing better for a man, than that he should eat and drink, and that he should make his soul enjoy good in his labour. This also I saw, that it was from the hand of God." - Ecclesiastes 2:24 

Eat. Drink. Enjoy good in your labour. 

...and in the end this it is only to turn our eyes towards God because everything else is vanity. "Let us hear the conclusion of the whole matter: Fear God, and keep his commandments: for this is the whole duty of man." - Ecclesiastes 12:13

This month I was extremely lucky to have seen old and new friends and get to go down to SoWis for a friends birthday! Lazer tag, birthday cake, church, swimming in Lake Michigan... It was a BLAST!!!! =D 




Courtney, Mary Ellen and Sandy
2010


 Courtney, Mary Ellen and Sandy
2014

It was especially fun because it was the first time in four years that Sandy, Courtney and I were together at Courtney's house. We took a picture just like the one we took before setting out on our road trip years ago. Still the same girls.... just a little more grown up! :)

Well.... day 30 is upon us. I'm off to see it through. I hope God blesses your day and your coming month... and every day after that. Life is short.... live it well.

Monday, September 22, 2014

A Jew Died For Me Too

A friend posted this article on Facebook a while back. I've been meaning to post it for a while on my blog but things were very busy for a while. Here it is now. Read in on the original website if you'd like (there are some beautiful pictures!)... or read it here.

This is not my article. It was written by Ann Voskamp, author of the book, One Thousand Gifts. This is a post from her blog!


It’s like an awakening.
That right in the middle of the Sunday sermon, while the pastor’s preaching what salvation really means —
I can see a woman in a pew ahead of me flipping through the pages of an Avon catalogue.
I can only bow my head.
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Because there are a thousand ways to be lukewarm and there’s a reason I know that.
I’ve been apathetic about grace  and casual about Christ and you can lose your First Love faster than you can lose the 100 meter dash.
And when you lose your First Love, you don’t just lose your way — you lose your mind.
And that’s why on the way home from Sunday services, I tell the six kids what I remember of the story.
“I don’t know if I ever told you, how at the very end of July 1941, WWII, a man escaped from Auchwitz. And the Nazis’ protocol to discourage attempts at escape was simple: One man escapes — ten men were executed in his place. So after the escape of this one man, all the men, looking like bags of bones, are called out of the barracks.”
“What are barracks?” Shalom leans forward. I explain. We pass a field lined with round bales.
“So in front of the barracks, one man is standing: Franciszek Gajowniczek.” I always struggle with the pronunciation of his Polish name. “And Gajownicszek, he’s thinking: Out of hundreds, I just have to escape being one of the 10 names.
The Nazi commandant calls the first name, second, third, fourth. Franciszek Gajowniczek hopes hard that he would live to see 42… live to hold his children close again…seventh, eighth, ninth names…”
He’s only a few years older than I am. And he’s only one name away from seeing the sun rise tomorrow. We turn at Bobby Johnson’s corner.
“And then they barked the tenth name: Franciszek Gajowniczek. And Gajowniczek — he falls to the ground. Near starving, he peels back every shred of dignity and he flat out begs, ‘No, I am married! I have children! I am young! I beg of you!’
The kids are quiet.
“And behind Gajowniczek, a man breaks rank… And he steps forward so all can see his face —- Maximillian Kolbe — a Christian.
A  Christian who was known to give up his food rations to those less hungry than he was. A Christian known to give his blanket to those not as cold as he was. Maximilian Kolbe, he was known to these incarcerated Jews as the Christ of Auschwitz… and he steps forwards silently, takes off his cap, and before the commandant he says,
Let me take his place. He has a wife and children. I am not married. I am not a father. He is young. I am old. Take me.” I turn around so that I can see the kids’ faces. “Maximilian Kolbe was only 6 years older than Gajowniczek — 47.”
Hope turns from me, looks out the window. Rain drops start to splat the windshield loud.
“And Gajowniczek, laying there on the dust on a July morning, he would later say, ‘I could only thank him with my eyes. I was stunned and could hardly grasp what was going on.’
And Kolbe, he was dragged off to a wire box like a dog kennel with the nine other men, left to starve.”
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This is always the part of the story that gets hard, when the lump grows too large in my throat.
The children say nothing and I push the words past the stinging in my throat.
“Kolbe spent the next 14 days singing hymns and praying with those nine other men, as one by one, all of them starved to death… And only one month prior to Kolbe being dragged off to starve, on June 15, 1941, — Maximilian Kolbe had written this to his mother:
Dear Mama, I am in the camp of Auschwitz. Everything is well in my regard. Be tranquil about me and about my health, because the good God is everywhere and provides for everything with love.'”
I had memorized that line of the letter. Because if a man in the midst of one the most hideous scenarios known in the history of the world could write a line like that — not from a bad day at the office or a hard day with the kids, but from the death stench of Auschwitz — how can anyone deny this ultimat,e iron-clad testimony : A Good God is everywhere — and provides for everything with love.  
How can I believe anything different when the house is loud and mothering wears and obligations pile and I’m buried and a friend tells me the doctors have given her 60-90 days to live and even breathing can cause this pain in your chest?
If Maximilian Kolbe could stand in Auschwitz and write Be tranquil — because the good God is everywhere and provides for everything with love” — is there ever really anything that should make one lose tranquility? It could be like a song for all the doubters and anxious: The good God is everywhere and provides for everything with love.
I say it quiet into a silent van, only rain thrumming on the roof.
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“At the end of the 14 days, when Kolbe was still alive — still alive and still singing and breathing and giving thanks to God — the Nazi’s plunged a lethal injection into Maximillian Kolbe.”
What line did we sing this morning in that Matt Redman song, the whole congregation singing it like a rising?
Let me be singing when the evening comes —  Bless the Lord, O my soul, Worship His holy name…” 
We sing it — but who lives it? Kolbe had.
And the Nazis had tossed his body into a mass grave. “Let me be singing when the evening comes…”
Maximillian Kolbe was the first man who had ever offered his life for another man in the history of Auschwitz.
He would be the only man.
The man who saw that a good God is everywhere and provides for everything with love.
And Gajowniczek?  Gajowniczek would live to be released from Auschwitz. His sons were all killed. But he found his wife and a small home in Poland.
The Farmer turns in our laneway, parks the van.
I tell the children this. That Gajowniczek would put a rock in his back yard with a brass plate affixed to the rock. That brass plate had just two words engraved into it: Maximillian Kolbe.
“And Gajowniczek? He said this:
Because of Maximilian Kolbe, every breath that I take, every thing that I do, every single moment, is to me — -like a gift.'”
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I say it to the kids, to the Farmer, to the rain coming down, but mostly to me.
We are Gajowniczek — a Jew died for us.
We who were once sentenced to death have been offered the shocking gift of salvation, of being flat out rescued, of being saved.
If we believe  we’re the lost who are saved — how can we lose our First Love? How can our bones not burn with thanks, with love, with the message of Who saved us? How can anything after His rescuing — be anything but appalling gift?
It’s time to be tired of being the living dead.
There is breath still in my lungs.
And rain on the window and people I love and a Bible right here in my lap and there is today and the life of Christ right in the dead bones and there is resurrection happening right now and who doesn’t unwrap all these gifts with utter thanks?
The rain’s falling harder now. That’s what Gajowniczek had said:
“Because of Maximilian Kolbe, I can’t act frivolously — because every single moment is pregnant with meaning.
Because it was a gift to me from that one who died that I might breathe this breath, that I might act today, that I might embrace this moment — I could never take another moment for granted.”
That lump in my throat.
Forget the glossy catalogues and the mindless distractions and the frivolous frittering away!
Because One died for me that I might breathe this breath…  It’s all a gift. 
And I turn and touch a child’s cheek and when you are saved — 
it can startle you into really living alive.

Remembering Leela

I've been meaning to share these videos for a while... I have one left to work on and upload, but it might take me a while. For now here are two clips made in memory of Leela:

Our good friend Matt made this video with pictures of Leela right after she died. What a blessing to have so many friends who care. It is beautiful.

Kendra, Leela's mommy, put together this slide show presentation which was played during Leela's funeral.

Wednesday, September 10, 2014

Leela's Eulogy

In my church four of the young mothers were expecting babies in the latter half of 2013. First Alice came on June 30th. Then little Leela was born on July 25th. Violet arrived next on November 20th and Josie on December 13th. Everyone anticipated the future friendships of the four baby girls. Praying and working, sharing and learning...

Leela was a little thing. She was so easy to hold because she was no bigger than a doll. Unlike other babies, though, Leela never seemed to make eye contact and she seemed to sleep and awful lot. When her eyes didn't seem to be getting better, her body didn't seem to be getting as strong as it should be, and she started having subtle episodes that her parents suspected may be seizures, her doctors suggested and MRI. February 7th was the day that shook our world for the first time... Leela didn't wake up from anesthesia for almost 24 hours after her MRI. We thought we might lose her then. After one long ambulance right and a week of the world's best doctors laboring to find answers, Leela was sent home with a diagnosis of Leigh's Syndrome. It turned out to be a rare genetic mutation in which over 70% of the mitochondria tested in Leela's body were faulty, depriving her of the energy she needed to grow and battle the innumerable ailments known to man. Very little is known about mitochondrial disease, and even less about Leigh's. We found out that in a few cases, children with this syndrome would live to be 8 years old or so, but it was likely that Leela wouldn't live beyond 3 years of age, with no known cure for the disease. For a second time our world was turned upside-down.

Grief, tears, pain... we were desperately grasping to understand the harsh facts. Leela's mom and dad had to face a reality that in the all-too-near future they'd be right here, right now, laying their baby down to rest one last time.

The likeliness of Leela living even as long as she did was probably slim, but I guess I took the possibility of three years with Leela for granted. After things finally settled into a routine we all put the thought of and end out of our minds, knowing we would be willing to go to the hospital as often as needed, pay any bills, and provide any support... We would do all this and in return we would have Leela.

We took every little hope to heart. Lately it seemed that leela was making improvements. Her last doctor's appointment was positive, she was more vocal, she was growing a lot... her red hair was getting so long, spiked up on her head all by itself with a mind of its own, as if revealing what her personality would have been. So when Jed and Kendra took Leela to the hospital on August 6th no one thought it would be Leela's last trip to the hospital.

Looking back now, it's crazy to think that it's been only 6 months since Leela's diagnosis. In spite of the immense sadness we find in her absence I find it hard not to be overwhelmed by the joy that surrounds Leela's life and time with us. We got to see her personality emerge. The MRI indecent in February took away her ability to cry but the medications and supplements Leela received brought back her eyes. They'd light up every time her brother and sister would laugh and play with her. They'd get so big and excited when her Uncle Isaac, who made a point of visiting with her every day, would talk to her and hold her. She liked music a lot, especially bluegrass and listening to everyone sing at Church. ...and the way she cooed with pleasure when her Mommy and Daddy would gently whisper to her.

I used to think that John 15:13 where it says, "Greater love hath no man than this, that a man lay down his life for his friends" it implied dying for someone, but in this past year I have seen my brother and sister-in-law lay down their plans, pleasures and normal routines for Leela. I saw this not only in Jed and Kendra, but the whole community. Friends, relatives, neighbors... strangers even, who selflessly gave of their hearts, time energy, and material resources.

There are many reasons for our grief. Maybe we cry because Leela will never experience those hallmark moments we expect in life: education, marriage, children, financial success, and so-on. ...and yet, Leela couldn't have lived a more full life. I think what we all strive to have in this life is quite simple: to love and to be loved. A lot can change in a year. A year can change you a lot, too. In her 378 days on this earth Leela was loved by all, touched every one of us with each precious day and will continue to affect us greatly throughout our lives.

We gave Leela our love, our time and our kisses and in return she gave us the most precious gift... her smiling eyes and her beautiful life. We thank Him for the opportunity He gave us all to learn selfless love... giving without any expectation of return, and caring daily when we knew the end would come too soon. We thank God for our year with Leela.
 

Written and Presented by Mary Ellen R., Leela's Aunt, on 8.16.14


Sunday, September 7, 2014

One Month

Today marks one month since Leela passed away, as it is September 7th and she died on August 7th. It's been so busy since then. This whole summer has been like a jet stream. Things are finally becoming a little more normal. This week was the first when things were back to the usual routine. ...but we still miss Leela.

Summer is on the waning side, though I am not joining the popular anticipation of Fall. I'll be wearing my sundresses and flip-flops for as long as I can. It kind of makes me want to spend a lot of time outside soaking up as much vitamin D as the sunlight has to offer.


It's already harvest season. Tomatoes, green beans, plums, ...so much there is in abundance. We are blessed.

I'm headed to the neighbors to milk cows soon. I just  noticed last night that I've almost been working for him for a year. That's pretty cool!
I've had a lot to think about lately. My plate is so full that I'm going to have to start sorting my priorities and put some things on the back burner. God first..... Always. After that it's the squeakiest wheel that gets the grease.  :) Life is loaded with pleasures and pains. I'm just glad to be here to experience it all.

Until next time...