Mom Life

It's hard to believe I haven't blogged in years. Something that was a part of my daily life a decade ago is now a distant memory (typing momentarily interrupted to go help a little guy wipe his buns and try to beat his little sister to the bathroom, who cheerfully always brings the wipes container whenever her big brother needs assistance!).

Then again, it's not so hard to believe I haven't blogged in years when you take into consideration the fact that I am a mom. Such characters as moms do not have the luxury to blog nonchalantly whenever they please. I am currently on the computer while my children play happily, yet if I were to make this a regular habit I'd probably have to do it while they sleep. I guess some moms insist on maintaining the pleasures they enjoyed in their child-free years. They do so (I assume) by sacrificing their children to the god of television or some other electronic devices. 

I choose not to do this. And so, consequently, I have less "free" time. That's okay with me though. I can invest into writing blog posts that will be bounced into the unknown and wild realm of cyberspace, read by few and likely erased for some reason as the internet chances or the websites that exist now cease to exist in the future. Or I can invest into every little trying and triumphant moment that my children experience and I am certain that my efforts will go into eternity as far as my children make an impact in the world as they grow and change and become independent people.

That's an exciting thought. My grandchildren and great-great-grandchildren being the people they are because of the choices and sacrifices I made to ensure my children had a hands-on mom. I will never see those fruits (at least not all of them) and I'm okay with that. It is enough for me to know that God promises a huge return to parents who choose to raise up their children to walk in truth.

I might blog more often now. Since blogging last my husband built us our own home. We have no internet lines where we live so for a long time I was without internet (and my phone only had a 2g data plan.... hardly enough to browse the internet for a few minutes). Recently we updated my phone plan so I can use my hotspot and so that I have enough data to actually accomplish things like paying bills online or even an occasional pleasurable moment like watching a movie, etc. So, just maybe, I'll blog more now. When my kids sleep. Or maybe it'll be another two years before I blog again... and that's okay.

Where have I been?

How is it already December? Worse yet, how have I missed blogging for most of the year?! I guess blogging is on the back burner when you're married and have a baby to care for. Not to mention all the craziness that's occurred this year. Living in Brodhead, WI in a camper while my husband worked on a job from May to August. Then house hunting, putting in three offers to purchase and having them all fall through.... only to find the most perfect 20 acre parcel of land to buy! Which we did.... with the help of our friendly, neighborhood banker. All resulting in moving out of our apartment and into my parents house. Perhaps that's why I'm drawn to blogging. Just being in the home where I grew up brings back old habits, routines and memories. Blogging has been a big part of my life. Why stop now?

But yeah, that's the big news of the day. Moving back in with the family. It's strange, and cool all at the same time. We have one room all to ourselves.... 13'x13'. It used to be the boys room, so you can imagine all the dust, dirt and boogers we had to scrub off the walls. Once cleaned and repaired we painted it a light, lovely color of pale, warm yellow with a milk white for the ceiling and trim. We managed to squeeze a futon bed, a bookshelf with a TV on top, two dressers, a recliner chair and Wright's pack-n-play that he sleeps in. Not bad for one little bedroom. Thankfully there's a closet to store our odds and ends in!

Anyway, now it's the Christmas season and I've been enjoying listening to the Christmas tunes and decorating the house with my sister Janelle! We have a good time together now. :)

My Birth Story

It's amazing how becoming a mother opens up a door to a world of womanhood that I never thought much of before becoming pregnant. It seems that every time I visit with another mother of any age the conversation now always turns to birthing and raising children.  It's not that I never had such conversations before I was pregnant and giving birth. It's just that they didn't mean the same thing back then. It's like when a friend tells you of their vacation to a foreign land and describes the brilliance of the place but it's not till you go there yourself that you can appreciate and understand the landscape, the local atmosphere and the vibes of the destination. Only now that I've "arrived", (really I've just begun my journey) can I truly appreciate the stories, wisdom and advice I hear from other mothers. Every time babies and birth come up it makes me smile when the mother I'm visiting with begins to share her birth story. It's something we women can't help but share... and something we can't help but want to hear. 

Taken on April 27th.... the day my water broke.

So this is my birth story...

It's been two weeks and four days now since the night things began to change. My water broke at 10:30pm on Friday, April 27th. I'd just put a vinyl fitted sheet on the bed mattress a few days before and it's a good thing that I did (Seeing as I was 2 weeks and 1 day overdue I don't know why I hadn't gotten it on the bed sooner)! I didn't get much rest that night as contractions, bathroom trips and my mind kept me awake. The next day the contractions grew closer and a little stronger but nothing to make the midwife change her morning routine and rush over.  My contractions were, at the most, 5.5 minutes apart all morning and oddly enough they'd get stronger from sitting and resting and go away when I'd move around. My midwife came around noon and we set about doing various things to encourage the labor to progress. I tried the exercise ball, walking around the yard with my husband, and a trip to the park with hubby and midwife to do some brisk walking (I would always get BH contractions when trying to keep up with my husbands long legged walks), lunges up steps and taking two steps at a time up the bleachers by the baseball diamond. Not exactly the most fun but it was nice to get outside in the sunshine.

I was feeling pretty tired by the afternoon and labor still wasn't progressing in spite of the baby seeming to be nicely engaged. My mom joined us around 4 or 5pm. Honestly, I didn't really pay attention to the time. I had terrible back labor that would stretch into my thighs and the only thing that relieved the ache was a back rub. We (meaning my mom, Jeff and the midwife) filled up the birthing pool, lit some candles, dimmed the lights, put some beverages within reach and turned on my Spotify playlist. They all laughed when I climbed in the pool and gave a sigh of delight. So relaxing! Oh, so the birthing pool was pretty neat. It was a brilliant but redneck pool made up of a stock tank (provided by the midwife at no extra cost), pillows and a white bed sheet under a sheet of plastic, held in place by bungee chords. After a while my husband thew on his swim trunks and hopped in there with me. We both thought it was a pretty ideal hot tub and if it weren't for the fact that I was in labor it would have made for a pretty romantic way to spend a Friday night. But the midwife kept us on track and had Jeff rub my stomach between contractions to stimulate them. For whatever reason my uterus never responded the way most women's do during labor. I never had intense stomach contractions. Just insane back labor and little braxton hicks contractions that didn't hurt at all. The contractions that I did have were irregular and not very close together. When it came time for pushing I'd literally have to watch for the top of my belly to harden in order to know that I was having a contraction and start pushing.

The midwife decided I should take castor oil... which I really didn't want to do and put it off until around 8pm or so. It was supposedly tasteless and odorless but let me tell you, it's like trying to drink motor oil or peanut butter. Ugg. Not only that but I quickly discovered that it gives you the runs! ...or should I say the shoots?!! The castor oil definitely livened labor up, so I was in active labor for probably 7 hours (2 of which were hard pushing at the end). By the end I was quite convinced this kid was never coming out and I didn't think I could do it any more. I was so tired and it hurt so bad to push. Perhaps I was too tired to quit, but in my mind there were no other options but to continue on until a baby arrived. Thank the Lord, the midwife checked the baby's heart rate continuously and it was always a steady 130. Labor didn't seem to bother the little boy who didn't seem to want to come out. Finally after pushing for a good hour and trying a million different positions and tricks to get baby down and out my midwife checked my cervix (she is usually hands off unless necessary so we hadn't done any checks up to this point) and she discovered that I had a cervical lip of sorts that was holding baby back. This explained everything because the baby's head was very low and I was fully dilated for hours. We check dilation with the old butt crack method. I'd never heard of it until I met my midwife but apparently there's a seam or a line between your butt cheeks that gradually turns purple. It's like a thermometer and the purple line rises the more you dilate. Pretty amusing really!
Anyway, once the lip was out of the way baby came in 45 minutes. I'm very glad my midwife is "hands off" but I wish we would have figured that out sooner as it could have saved hours of labor. The excitement wasn't over yet though. I wasn't able to have a water birth thanks to the castor oil and an incontinent BM in the pool (ewww!) so I finally wound up in the bed. The baby's head crowned. I could finally see my child which gave me hope that it would soon be over. Everyone laughed when I asked if they could just pull it out! I was so exhausted and ready to be done. Plus, nothing could ever prepare you for the intense burn of delivering a child vaginally. I had discussed with my midwife ways to prevent tearing because that was something I REALLY didn't want to experience. She'd told me that she'd never had a bad tear in her time as a midwife and due to the way the baby was progressing my midwife was confident that I wouldn't tear! When the baby had crowned most of the way and my mom said another push would reveal the eyebrows and ears (baby was face down), I gave a big push and the whole baby shot out! I was too tired to realize that baby's aren't supposed to come out in one big burst. Normally the head is born, and then the shoulders followed by the body. I tore..... really bad. In fact they thought it might have even been a 4th degree tear!

My son was born at 5:09am and after nine months I finally held him in my arms. I remember thinking he was so big! I tried to nurse him and eventually Jeff cut the cord and someone wrapped his wet body in a blanket. After that I don't remember a whole lot. I remember resting and trying to sleep as the midwife and my mom were cleaning some things up and monitoring my condition. They were concerned that I was losing too much blood (My midwife said normal blood-loss would be around 500ml and that I'd lost around 1200ml). The midwife gave me a shot of pitocin but it didn't seem to do anything. She finally decided I should go to the ER just to have them check me over in case I needed some blood. They were going to drive me but when I stood up to leave the bedroom I fainted. Jeff called 911.... the poor guy had trouble remembering our address! I layed on the bed until the EMS guys showed up. They transferred me to the local hospital which was a few miles down the road. They never did have to give me blood but I had to have antibiotics because my white blood cell count was elevated. Since we'd left in such a rush, they hadn't weighed or measured the baby, so my mom and the Dr. put him on a scale and he was a hearty 8lbs. 3 oz.! We didn't get him measured until later that night but he came out to be 20 inches long.
(Oh, and a funny side note: while I was in the hospital getting stitched up, Jeff and my dad had to change Wright's first big poop! Jeff's first time changing a diaper! When the midwife came for a check-up the next day and weighed Wright again, he was down to 7lbs. 8oz. Goodness, that was one big poop!)

Jeff & Wright, a few hours after birth.

Eventually, they transferred me to another hospital where they could take care of the tear. They thought I'd need surgery but luckily the specialist who repaired my tear determined that I only had a 3rd degree tear and he was able to use local pain killer and stitch me up in 15 minutes. No surgery, no more antibiotics and no stay in the hospital. (though I honestly wouldn't have minded being put out for surgery as I was so tired and would have welcomed the "nap"). I experienced a lot of firsts on April 29th. First time having a baby. First ambulance ride (and I had two in one day!). First time getting a catheter (since they kept me on a stretcher or an ER bed/table the whole day). First time being stitched up. I'm probably forgetting something.....

 After being discharged from the hospital my brother snapped a photo of the three of us together. Three very sleepy human beings.

That wasn't exactly how I figured birth would go, but I knew it wouldn't be easy. It was worth whatever trouble I went through, though. I'm so thankful I was able to have a home birth and that I had such a supportive team to help me through the process and help Jeff and I get through the crazy first week of Wright's life. I was so weak from losing blood and sore from the stitches that I had to have help just to make it to the bathroom and back without fainting. In fact I was naughty and tried showering two days after giving birth and fainted in the shower. Jeff happened to come in and check on me just in time to catch me and prevent me from really hurting myself. Yesterday was my first day at home, alone with Wright. It's nice to feel normal again (for the most part). It's crazy learning and getting used to caring for a little man and trust me, sometimes the sleepless nights get the best of me. Yet, I wouldn't have it any other way. This little guy makes Jeff and I laugh so much.... and sometimes I cry over how beautiful and wonderful he is. These postpartum hormones are nuts. What a privilege and a blessing it is to be a mother! My mind often wanders to who he'll be when he's older and I already worry about doing a good job of raising him up. I let him know often how much mommy, daddy and Jesus love him and I can't wait till he can understand how much Jesus really loves him.

 
But I have to remind myself to just be in the moment and soak up every second with my son. They don't stay little for long. We weighed Wright on Sunday and he's already 9lbs! Good heavens!
Speaking of soaking up the moment.... I'm off to nurse my little guy.

Taking A Moment

March is already in full swing! And baby is only a month from it's birthday. Jeff and I are getting excited and a little nervous at the same time. It's a pretty big deal to have a little baby. Can you really ever be prepared for such a beautiful, miraculous moment when you go through labor and birth and finally meet your first born?! I don't think anything can prepare parents for such a day. And we've both dreamed of such a future for many years. Now our dreams are becoming a reality and it's hard to soak it all up.

It's a sunny day and I've been busy with dishes, sweeping and other household chores this morning. These basic activities seem to give me braxton-hix contractions. Or at least I'm pretty sure that's what I feel. I work or do some activity and my belly feels like lead in a sense. Heavy or tight. Not painfully so and not in an extreme way but definitely different. So after a bit of work I thought I'd take a little break to blog.

I plan to get some vacuuming done next, which I've put off or run out of time to get done for the past week. I'm also going to whip up some herbal lotion. I had herbally infused oils that I turned into salve the other day. I just picked up some aloe vera juice from Walmart and I'm going to add it to the salve along with some shea butter in my magic bullet. So exciting! This salve/lotion is intended to be really good for the skin with jojoba oil, coconut oil, almond oil, voilets, oats, calendula and yarrow. I added a little tea tree essential oil for it's antibacterial properties and a good bit of cedarwood essential oil. So it has a nice green color and a woodsy smell. I've been putting some salve that I made a while back on my growing, stretching belly every day. It's almost 100% used up so this lotion going to be ready just in time! If there's extra I'll probably pass some on to other pregnant mommy's I know or friends who aren't afraid of homemade herbal creations.

I'd also like to get some cookies made for my husband today. He's been wanting some for a while now. It's tricky because I don't have a mixer/kitchenade so making cookies is a bit more difficult but it's still doable.

Well.... it's gonna be a busy month getting everything ready to go for baby! But I'll blog more about all the baby plans later. Time to get back to homemaking! I sure am thankful my husband is willing to go to work and let me stay here and be a homemaker! What a blessing!

All Things New

It's January. It's a new year. And I'm a new mom. Well... the kid isn't hatched yet; we're still in the brewing stage.

 With (most of) my family on Christmas Day

 Jeff and I laughed at how different things were last New Years holiday. Back when he first asked my Dad for permission to court me on New Year's Eve. The humorous part was that my dad gave Jeff the green light and the next day my parents had a conversation with the two of us, as well as announcing to our church that Jeff and I were in a relationship... and all this time I had no clue that Jeff had talked to my dad or that my dad gave him permission. Of course, I assumed my parents were okay with Jeff because of their actions. Rather, I was worried that they were just assuming things without Jeff actually wanting things to progress in such a manner! I was worried Jeff thought it was all too much or too fast. It wasn't until after church on New Years Day on our drive home that Jeff told me of his conversation with my dad. What a relief!

  Jeff and I, last year on my birthday.
I'm still wearing that coat but it's extra snug across my belly!

Now here we are a year later, just about to hit the 6 month mark of our marriage and expecting a baby into our home, due sometime in April. I've gotten to know more about Jeff each day and am delighted at what a strong leader he is. He prays with me before our meals, he spends time in the Word of God and is always working at learning or reading something new. He's not the kind of guy to sit around and waste his time, and the few occasions that he does take it easy it's always well deserved. He makes me want to follow in his shoes and continue learning new things each day. It's enjoyable to know that on top of having a team mate to help pull through all of the daily chores and responsibilities I also have a friend.

This picture was also taken Christmas Day.

My brother Channing and his wife, Rachel are expecting in February. 

Rachel and I are only 9 weeks apart!

As for growing a baby, it's a curious and exciting process. To watch as my body changes in fascinating and sometimes not so glamorous ways, knowing that in all of this a new little life is maturing in my womb. It's weird at the same time. I look down at this large lump of a belly at times and feel like an egg. A giant woman, human egg. The baby has been growing stronger each week. Ever since week 19 I've been able to feel it kick and lately it's kicks are so strong you can see it jumping around rather than just feel it. My belly looks like one of those energizer bunny commercials where the bunny is bouncing inside of the battery! It's quite startling at times, really, but I love it! And baby gets especially active when there's music or when daddy talks or sings. It makes my heart full with joy. We don't intend to find out the gender so it'll be the best surprise Jeff and I have ever experienced.  We do have names picked out though... which we formed partially from long time family name traditions.

 

 Jeff and I visited his family just this past week!
This picture was taken after an exciting escape room adventure.

It's an exciting new year full of new adventures. I can barely imagine having a little baby to care for each and every day. It still seems unreal to me. This will be a big, challenging and wonderful time for Jeff and I. 2018 is already full of so much wonder and it's only just begun.

But it Feels Like Spring!

I woke up this morning from a dream in which it was one of those dark, rainy, muddy and warm Spring days. The sort of day that brings green grass and lots of chirping birds. Yet it's the middle of December and Spring is a long way off. Weather is a funny thing though because the forecast for this weekend predicts below zero temps and right outside my porch door I see water generously dropping from off the roof. If anyone could really explain the vicissitudes of the earth and it's weathery forces they'd be worth a trillion bucks. But really all we can do is study it and try to predict it. 

Christmas is just a few days away! How fast it's come upon us and still if feels like years since last Christmas. One year can bring about so much change. Just last Christmas I was finally getting to officially meet the handsome fellow who I'd been conversing with online for two months. It's curious how quickly our two lives rolled into one and more curious still how perfectly right it felt then and still feels now. I can't imagine who or what I would have become if Jeff hadn't walked into my life and I'm so glad I didn't have to find out. He's my purpose and my friend and my leader. It's exciting to spend this next Christmas together with him as my husband.

We'll get to spend Christmas with my family and then we'll also get to visit with Jeff's family later in the week. As he can't go to Canada right now while we're waiting on immigration proceedings to go through, his family is coming to us.

The holidays make people a bit stupid. Though many in the extended family are sick or fighting off colds we still play to make Christmas cookies in all of their sugary glory as well as enjoy a Christmas feast. The cheer this time of year makes us do things we wouldn't otherwise do. Perhaps it's the jingly Christmas tunes that throw us back to our memories of Christmases past. Oh well.... what does it hurt to be a little silly once or twice a year? ...and how could you say no to Christmas cookies?! It's impossible.

Goodbye, Granddad.

It seems that there must come a time in everyone's life for their loved one's to begin departing from them. Thus, leaving us deprived of all but the memories they left behind. I knew my mom's dad wasn't in the best of health. He'd been residing in Mexico for the past two years because there were some promising or at least comforting alternative medical treatments for his ailments. At first he and his wife would return from the warm, balmy region with stories of how lovely it is down in Mexico where they were staying. They'd try to lure us down for a visit. Then it was just my grandpa's wife who'd come up; the trip was too difficult for my granddad. I suppose I knew at this point that he wasn't going to be around forever but I was very hopeful he'd hold out a bit longer.

Grandpa and his wife had offered to fly my brother and I down to visit. I should have gone. It was all the silly little life things that prevented me. Needed to work, wanting to wait till I had enough money, waiting to get a passport, waiting till I could travel with someone because of my fear of traveling alone. All these little things.....

And so I heard of my grandpa's death this past month with great sadness. He was gone and I'd never be able to hear his laugh again, have a conversation with him again, or scroll through his many photos with him again. My heart is sad at his going.

I learned many things from him. In one large sense, I learned what NOT to do, since he left his wife and children to pursue his own selfish interests. But when he came back into his kid's lives I was about 14. Young enough to still have a lot of love for someone just because their name was "grandpa", in spite of them not having been a grandpa in my childhood years.

He taught me photography lessons, like how to organize files of pictures so I could find them later. He taught me how to take pictures in different ways and encouraged my creative talents. He payed for piano lessons in high school. He gifted me with his impressive Canon Mark II 5D when it became too heavy for him to lug around. I remember my amazement that he would give such an expensive gift to me and driving around in my cheap Honda taking photos of the countryside with the realization that the camera was worth way more than my car and I had no business driving it around in such a vessel. I think my granddad had hopes I would go on to college and become something splendid. Yet, in spite of the fact that I never went on to college and haven't really developed any one particular skill beyond amateur level he still loved me and encouraged me and thought the world of me. Or at least that's the impression I always got from him.

He'd always point out that we were fellow Aquarians and I suppose this was a bonding point. Then later when I became interested in learning about personality I discovered that he was an INFP and I was an ENFP.... which also made us pretty similar and was another bonding point. When I first was getting to know granddad and still new nothing about myself he sized me up one time. He said, "Mary Ellen, I can tell you hold your cards close". It made me feel a little uncomfortable that he had me figured out that easily.... because I've always been the type that has trouble opening up my most deep parts of myself. I'm extraordinary friendly and jovial with everyone and I make friends easily. I'm good at drawing other people out, but I suppose half of that is done so that I don't have to open up about myself. So after that statement I always felt my grandpa understood me.

It was sad that family relations were strained because he left them to fend for themselves when his children were still quite young. In fact my mom was 14 when he left. The same age I was when he came back. I wonder what life would have been like had he stayed. Yet, I'll choose to learn from the lessons he left behind and be thankful for the good things and memories he made with me.

Oh, one more thing. Calling someone "grandpa" always felt the most natural to me although there are many variations of the term out there. However, he always addressed himself as "Granddad" and so I finally adopted the term for him and it'll always have a more special meaning.

Feliz Navidad

Christmas day, and it's rainy and windy outside. Very odd for a WI Christmas. I do remember a number of years ago when we had a thunder & lightning storm in December. I guess Mother Nature just likes to keep us on our toes.

In spite of the dreary weather, we had a warm and cozy day inside. The twinkly Christmas lights glowing throughout the house and seasonal tunes streaming through the speakers.

There's a really pretty song I just discovered this season. It's so soothing, and almost haunting... but I can't find it on YouTube to share it with you. However if you can find it elsewhere I'd suggest you give it a listen. It's called, "In Winter's Cold", by Brittin Lane.

I hope your holiday was cheery and festive, full of all the seasonal blessings.

Merry Christmas, from my family to yours! 

 ...and here's a cute picture of my parents. Aww!

......AND... *drumroll*

Channing proposed to Rachel! She said, yes!

God has truly blessed our family this Christmas. We have so much to be thankful for and can't wait to see what the future brings. ...most especially a wedding this next year!

Amazon

There's something about shopping that I can't stand. Perhaps it's the temptation to buy everything I didn't go into a store to get. Or maybe it's the crowds of people making you feel like you need to hurry and make up your mind, get your stuff and get out. I know shopping isn't really that daunting... and people are much kinder than that. Yet, when I'm constantly driving to and from work each day the last thing I want to do is go drive again to the store.

So sometimes I just hop on Amazon, click a mouse instead of push a cart, and then wait for a few days. I just ordered my barn boots this way. After visiting the two farm stores in my area I've discovered that they seldom carry women's boots in my size. Unless they're made from cheap plastic/rubber and pink in color. Umm... ya gotta mean business when you go to work. No pink boots.
Well I looked on Amazon and the brand of boots I like did carry women's boots in my size! BUT... they were WHITE. White. In a barn?! ....I don't think so. As a last resort before humbling myself and buying the cheap pink books was to order men's size 5 boots. After waiting with great anticipation and struggling through a week of working in boots with hardly any tread the new boots arrived! And fit wonderfully. No more 45 min. drives to the big farm store on the other side of the city to be disappointed by their lack of options. No more pick boots from the local farm supply store.

Anyway, I did a little clicking on Amazon today. In under 5 minutes I had something for my body, something for my soul and something for my spirit.... and I was done shopping. :)

For the body: Activated charcoal. The stuff is like magic. I can't believe this stuff isn't a common household remedy. It's black and pretty messy when it's not contained, though it doesn't stain. It can be taken to help with stomach flu, alcohol poisoning... and other poisons. It alleviates gas and bloating. It can be applied topically to an insect sting. Some people use it to brush their teeth... other people take it as a regular dietary aid. It has so many awesome uses. Google it!

For the soul: Elf. Yeah... the movie. It's been forever since I've watched, but I remember it being pretty funny. Since we don't have that many movie rental options living way out in the sticks like we do, I figured I'd just buy it. I've been telling my parents they should watch it for a while. You never know with my parents. They'll either laugh historically the whole time or they'll think it's the dumbest movie in the world. I watch the movie, "What About Bob?" with my grandma once and we laughed so hard that we were sore the next day! My parents couldn't stand it. Then I tried to get them to watch "The Cobbler" with Adam Sandler. Because it had Adam Sandler in it they were convinced it would be a not-so-clean movie. Well, they eventually watched it and laughed historically. I have no idea what makes them tick... but it's amusing so it's worth the attempt to try out Elf on them.

For the spirit: Over the Top. It's a book by a  Russell Fralick. I was driving to work one morning and the radio station was broadcasting him telling his story. Perhaps it was his Irish accent that kept me tuned to the station. He told of being an Atheist and how he came to God through an incredible life intervention while rock climbing. It was a pretty crazy story... so I figured the book might be a worthy read.

Well... yep. That's it. Yay, for Amazon shopping. Oh, I also purchased some cranberry chutney from a little store in Northern Wisconsin. We used to be able to find it in our grocery. Now I search for it every time I go to a new grocery store with no luck. Therefore in spite of a little extra shipping charges it'll be nice to taste a little cranberry chutney again after years without it.

Pies, Pies, Pies.

I'm waiting for the kitchen space to open up. The little farmers have come inside from their chores and are just now eating breakfast, so I must postpone my baking endeavors until they've been fed. It didn't work out for the motley crew to feast yesterday so we're having Thanksgiving tomorrow and baking today. This arrangement works out wonderfully actually because of the three siblings with significant others. We miss my brother Daniel and Jacqui and their two boys but we heard they had a nice day of Thanks in AZ (where they live) and are headed to the mountains today for a mini vacation. Channing was gone yesterday to celebrate with Rachel's family. It will be a beautiful day when I can call her my sister, but I'm excited for now to have her come today/tomorrow to celebrate with my family. 

In spite of the fact that we're baking today, we are also having a family gathering with my mom's two brothers. One family will be coming from Minnesota and will be sharing tomorrow's festivities with us. Then there's my other Uncle and his family who live across the valley. We can see their house from ours and it is a pleasure to have relatives so near. Yet, as our families have grown it makes it difficult to fit everyone into one house on thanksgiving so we haven't had thanksgiving with them in a few years. Tonight we'll all eat soup... something easy with minimal prep and clean up. This is fine by me as it affords more time for visiting. Visiting is far more important to me than any pie or turkey.

Anyways, I know the rest of the world is frantically hitting the stores for some black Friday shopping, decking the halls and listening to the beloved Christmas melodies, I am relishing this Thanksgiving.

I like to think about the Pilgrims and the Indians. The hardships they endured, their different way of life, and their focus on God's blessing. They'd come to the new world to seek freedom. Freedom to serve God and to raise their families in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

William Bradford wrote this of the first Thanksgiving feast,
"They begane now to gather in ye small harvest they had, and to fitte up their houses and dwellings against winter, being all well recovered in health & strenght, and had all things in good plenty; fFor as some were thus imployed in affairs abroad, others were excersised in fishing, aboute codd, & bass, & other fish, of which yey tooke good store, of which every family had their portion. All ye somer ther was no want. And now begane to come in store of foule, as winter approached, of which this place did abound when they came first (but afterward decreased by degrees). And besids water foule, ther was great store of wild Turkies, of which they tooke many, besids venison, &c. Besids, they had about a peck a meale a weeke to a person, or now since harvest, Indean corn to yt proportion. Which made many afterwards write so largly of their plenty hear to their freinds in England, which were not fained, but true reports."


Gotta love that old English!
Until this year I had not read Abraham Lincoln's proclamation for the United States of America to set aside one day of each year for Thanksgiving. Not only do I love the eloquence of the words but the gravity of their meaning. How has America strayed so far from this state of reverence for our Creator?

I've shamelessly copied and pasted the proclamation from this website, which says, "The document below sets apart the last Thursday of November "as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise." According to an April 1, 1864, letter from John Nicolay, one of President Lincoln's secretaries, this document was written by Secretary of State William Seward, and the original was in his handwriting. On October 3, 1863, fellow Cabinet member Gideon Welles recorded in his diary how he complimented Seward on his work. A year later the manuscript was sold to benefit Union troops."


Washington, D.C.
October 3, 1863
By the President of the United States of America.
A Proclamation.
The year that is drawing towards its close, has been filled with the blessings of fruitful fields and healthful skies. To these bounties, which are so constantly enjoyed that we are prone to forget the source from which they come, others have been added, which are of so extraordinary a nature, that they cannot fail to penetrate and soften even the heart which is habitually insensible to the ever watchful providence of Almighty God. In the midst of a civil war of unequalled magnitude and severity, which has sometimes seemed to foreign States to invite and to provoke their aggression, peace has been preserved with all nations, order has been maintained, the laws have been respected and obeyed, and harmony has prevailed everywhere except in the theatre of military conflict; while that theatre has been greatly contracted by the advancing armies and navies of the Union. Needful diversions of wealth and of strength from the fields of peaceful industry to the national defence, have not arrested the plough, the shuttle or the ship; the axe has enlarged the borders of our settlements, and the mines, as well of iron and coal as of the precious metals, have yielded even more abundantly than heretofore. Population has steadily increased, notwithstanding the waste that has been made in the camp, the siege and the battle-field; and the country, rejoicing in the consciousness of augmented strength and vigor, is permitted to expect continuance of years with large increase of freedom. No human counsel hath devised nor hath any mortal hand worked out these great things. They are the gracious gifts of the Most High God, who, while dealing with us in anger for our sins, hath nevertheless remembered mercy. It has seemed to me fit and proper that they should be solemnly, reverently and gratefully acknowledged as with one heart and one voice by the whole American People. I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. And I recommend to them that while offering up the ascriptions justly due to Him for such singular deliverances and blessings, they do also, with humble penitence for our national perverseness and disobedience, commend to His tender care all those who have become widows, orphans, mourners or sufferers in the lamentable civil strife in which we are unavoidably engaged, and fervently implore the interposition of the Almighty Hand to heal the wounds of the nation and to restore it as soon as may be consistent with the Divine purposes to the full enjoyment of peace, harmony, tranquillity and Union.
In testimony whereof, I have hereunto set my hand and caused the Seal of the United States to be affixed.

Done at the City of Washington, this Third day of October, in the year of our Lord one thousand eight hundred and sixty-three, and of the Independence of the United States the Eighty-eighth.

By the President: Abraham Lincoln

William H. Seward,
Secretary of State

Happy Thanksgiving, my dear friends. May God bless you in this next year with the grace to appreciate all the good you've been blessed with and the strength to find joy in times troubles as well.

What It Means to Be A Person, Part 3

Understanding.... Being understood...
I like how Robert Fulghum puts it,
"Hide-and-seek, grown-up style. Needing to be sought. Confused about being found."

In continuation of my train of blog posts, like What It Means to Be A Person, Part 2.... 

If a friend were to hand me a book and say, "Please, read this book. I'd like for you to understand me better," I would certainly read that book. It is the essence of being human, this desire to understand others and most especially, the desire to be understood. Yet, I suspect there are people who care more about being understood and less about understanding others. It is not always selfishness in the case of these people but maybe just how their personality works and what their interests are. What the ratio of understanding to being understood is in each of us is probably chalked up to how we were raised, what our interests are and what type of personalities we embody.

For me the desire to understand others is top heavy. Not that I don't not want to be understood, but there is something about humans, who they are and how they interact that fascinates me. I want to know about body language, voice inflections and speech patterns. I want to know what they think, why they think it, what their hopes and dreams are and what they're doing to make those dreams a reality. I want to know about their mothers and fathers, their siblings, their friends, their education, their hobbies, their favorite foods and their feelings on politics. I probably come off sounding like an interviewer and I think a lot of people feel uncomfortable when asked a million questions. Questions make us feel vulnerable, especially if we do not know the purpose that the questioner is asking them. It is only over time that I can prove that my questions are 100%, genuine interest.

Perhaps this interest I have in people is due to my personality? I know that Myers-Briggs Typology isn't the be-all and end-all. There are flaws and misgivings about the science behind the psychology. However, I've read up on my personality type and it feels like finally someone understands me. Or perhaps more than being understood, it is the fact that I'm  not the only one with the crazy traits that define me. I'm not the only person who is care free and childish, at the same time as deeply wishing to understand the universe. I'm not alone in my tendency to procrastinate. I'm not the only one who doesn't one to be follow just one profession, but many chase many interests. There are other like me in the world, and I'm not crazy for being who I am... in spite of the many folks who disapprove of or fear my unconventional ways.

What brings this to my mind in particular is a book I read this Summer titled, The Comprehensive ENFP Survival Guide, by Heidi Priebe. It made complete sense to me and explained traits that I've felt so overwhelmed by or that have made me feel like an unsuccessful human for possessing. I don't say that in the worst sense, but just the frustration we all feel when we're trying to wade through life with our strengths and weaknesses. The book was an eye opener. It showed me that I'm not alone, there are other people who are just like me, and it showed why I am the person I am. It was easy to read and easy to understand. I found myself laughing with delight because I could relate so much to the author's words!

I generally kept to the privacy of my room while reading, as if to guard a secret. Mostly because I am a private person when it comes to my feelings. In fear that my poor, sensitive self will be hurt I gaurd my feelings at all cost. This is of course something I never realized about myself, and hope to overcome one day.... to be less sensitive and more open.
Anyway, one night I was determined to enjoy the company of my family and sat in the living room with them, while reading this book. My older sister asked what I was reading, and when I told her, her first response was and eye-roll and, "You've got to be kidding me...." She wasn't trying to be mean, but it just struck her as ridiculous that I'd be reading about personality and putting so much interest in the matter. Isn't life about being selfless, after all? I understand her thoughts on the matter but if we cannot understand our own feelings and thoughts how are we ever to get along with others? How are we to mature and grow? If we cannot understand how we are different from other people how are we supposed to appreciate others for their differences?

My mother comes to mind. She and I are very different. We're both extroverted and strong-willed, but lets just say she's the type of person that prepares, plans and is precise. Whereas I am the type of person that procrastinates, is spontaneous and go-with-the-flow. Granted we are not always such extreme opposites, but when we have contrary opinions it generally makes for a mini war. For many years I never knew why we disagreed on so many stupid, little, unimportant things. Then I learned about typology and discovered that more often that not, we are coming to the same conclusions from different perspectives. I learned that I we can see the other's viewpoint we can then compromise or try to relate, or perhaps stand our ground to the death.  But it doesn't have to be a mess of confusion.

It seems that what Paul the Apostle write in Romans 12:3-4 relates to the matter,
For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith. For as we have many members in one body, and all members have not the same office:

As I've stated before and will state again, personality stuff isn't the most important thing in the world. It's good to stay open and not let these things dictate your view of others. But if it offers a few helpful hints along the bumpy roads of life, then it's worth giving a chance.

My Dad's Farm Blog

Hey, everyone! Go check out my Dad's farm blog, Udder Nonsense: trying to make cents of it all. I guess it's more like the family farm blog, but it'll be mostly Dad's blog... things of interest to him... etc. I just put in an hour updating it today and editing the style. We were kind of locked out of it for quite a while because we couldn't remember the password. Yikes. It's good now, so go visit and follow and enjoy!

www.milkingforallitsworth.blogspot.com

Nellie Bird

Today is Nellie's 13th birthday. It's crazy to think that's she's already a teenager. We celebrated yesterday with all of the family over. I made her a super fun cake with flowers from the garden. I mean, do you have to get married to have a fun cake?! =D

Hello, August.

Hello, August.

It's a beautiful morning here on the farm. I'm sipping coffee and listening to the sound of applause coming from bacon on the kitchen stove. As I peak out the window I can see the robust rays of August sun lighting up my bed of zinnias. Zinnias are, without question, the best flower.

My employers gave me the morning off even though I'd already asked for tonight and tomorrow off! A whole two days free of milking, cows and the excitements of the farm life. It's very kind of them! I'll be camping over night with my two friends, Sandy and Jae,and thankfully we're blessed with nice weather. It's more of a domesticated camping trip. We're paying for a plot on a campground a few miles from my home were there will be people and bathrooms and electrical outlets. Not that I mind the conveniences but it just isn't the same as roughing it in the sticks. Maybe we'll try that next year.

Yesterday was my friend Rachel's birthday. A ton of friends came to surprise her at church from various parts of the state. It was a really fun day and it was also nice to make it to church for the first time in weeks.

We haven't been to church since we've been working every weekend to get the dairy ready for inspection. The inspector came on Friday and we now have our grade A license! We aren't shipping our milk yet because we're waiting for the organic certification to go through... and that process was on hold till we had our grade A license. Maybe we'll be ready to rock and roll by the end of the week?!

Leela resting on her mommy.

Yesterday also marks two years since little miss Leela went to heaven to be with Jesus. I can still see her cute, pale cheeks and her wisps of red hair. I can hear her little coos that she'd make when she was glad to have company. I miss her and if I live to be 100 I will see her in 76 years.

Well, it's a beautiful new day that the Lord has made. I need to get ready for camping and maybe get lost smelling flowers outside for a while. ....and the beans need to be picked. Couldn't be a better morning for gardening.

Until next time...

What It Means To Be A Person

It was a Thanksgiving evening a good number of years ago, when my uncle decided that we were all sedated enough by the fullness of turkey, stuffing and pie, to trick us into taking a personality test. Indeed, we were too full to protest to sitting down in front of a questionnaire full of seemingly nonsensical questions, so we agreed to be Uncle David's personality guinea pigs.



In our vegetative state of mind we were quite certain that Uncle D. was full of it and this Dr. Phil phoo phoo was just another post-modern phase.

 

As each of us took the test and read our results we couldn't stifle laughter or the contemplative "ah-ha" moments. It was a little more spot on than we'd figured. Of course, Uncle D. was over our shoulders like the evil mastermind finally bringing into submission a whole planet of minions. Okay... well maybe he wasn't that devious and I'm sure he just wanted to encourage conversation and better understanding among the family (though I thought he'd enjoy that depiction since he's an INFP, aka the personality type that believes fairy tales are real).

Ever since that revealing day, personality typology has been a subject of interest in my family. I am guilty of convincing all of my friends, and most anyone who I think won't be too weirded-out, to sit down to a personality test. Some of the tests are better than others. If you haven't ever discovered what your personality type is, I highly recommend it. Or if you have taken it already, it never hurts to take it again. I discovered that my personality has changed (or maybe my understanding of who I am has grown?) since the night Uncle Dave enlightened us to personality profiles. This one, by Human Metrics, is my favorite right now. This test is based on the Carl Jung and Isabel Briggs Myers typology.



I must say, these tests and ideas are not the be-all and end-all. They aren't going to give all of the answers for your life or completely figure you out to a T. They're more like guidelines. Very good guidelines for understanding who you are better, what it means to be you, why you do things the way you do them... and so on. It's not about right or wrong. It's about who we are as people, and understanding who we are will give us more security and curiosity to go out and understand others better.

It's fun. It's not the end of the world. And who knows... it may give you some much needed peace about your personality as you'll discover that, in fact, you aren't horrible for being a babbling extrovert or an I'd-rather-be-alone introvert. Or for making detailed plans for your vacation... or doing just the opposite and throwing organized lists out the window in favor of spontaneity.

When I first took the test I was probably 15 or 16 and my result was an ESFJ. Now I'm an ENFP... (although I occasionally get ESFP).

I really like this website for an overview description of each of the 16 personality types: Keirsey Temperment Overview. It seems to give a decent, brief view of each type.



I also like this site for a little more detail of each type: The Personality Page. It gives a more in depth look at the different types.

These are just a few of the informative websites on the subject that are available out there. Let me know if you find some that you like better!

Anyway, it's good fun! Take the test if you haven't. Alas, I'm not done writing about this subject but it's 10pm... which is 30 minutes past my bedtime. I guess 7 and 1/2 hours of sleep will have to do tonight. :)

Child Sexual Abuse

This is the most recent article I've written for a local newspaper. It's such an important and ignored topic. I hope this article encourages more discussion and effort towards preventing and stopping child sexual abuse.

Why Parents Should Be Brave
Five steps for dealing with child sexual abuse

Last month, a sting operation was conducted in Eau Claire, WI in which 8 men were arrested for soliciting children for sex via online avenues. Stories like this make the news for one day and dissipate as quickly as they come to our attention. Yet, 1 in 10 children are abused before the age of 18, so why is the issue of protecting the innocent from abuse such an ignored topic? While there are efforts being made to raise awareness and prevent this violence, sexual abuse is still grossly under-reported. There are plenty of sources that help to educate children and parents on avoiding predators and sexual abuse. However, predators often do much damage before they are detected. The question we are afraid to ask is not 'how do we prevent our children from being harmed?' but rather, 'what should we do if and when they are?'

1. Believe and protect your child.
Only 4 to 8 % of child sexual abuse reports are suspected to be false and of the children who are abused, 60% never tell anyone. While it's true that children of single parents or adolescents from broken homes are more likely to be candidates for abuse, it doesn't mean sexual abuse can't happen in healthy, happy homes. One of my friends from a stable family talked of the kid who started out as a best friend and became an abusive enemy. This friend said he was abused from age 6 to 10, before he went to his parents for help. A parent of a victim gave me this advice, “If the problem is at school, your child stays home. If the offending party is a relative, you don't go to family gatherings. You remove your child from anywhere the offender might be.”

2. Getting past your pride.

If a child has been abused while under your supervision, you may feel guilty for failing to protect your child. Shame comes from knowing that you let the wolf into your safe-zone and left your child vulnerable. Pride comes into play as we try to protect our reputation and the image of a perfect family. Guardians are mortified that abuse has occurred under their watch and in many cases a child's pleas for help are often ignored by parents who would rather live in ignorance. Please, do not be one of those parents who allows abuse to go on because stopping it would make you or someone you know feel uncomfortable!

3. Nobody is above justice.

The last thing a parent wants to do is call the police, create a wave of scandal, and press charges against someone that they cannot actually prove has done anything wrong. Still, the best thing you can do for your child is expose the perpetrator and ensure that every effort has been made to achieve justice. It should be noted that if a person aids or abets a crime they are usually considered just as responsible as the actual offender in a court of law. Do not be a party to another person's crime. If an offender is a spouse, child, relative or someone you care about you can aid them by making sure they get proper help and cannot hurt anyone again, even if this means they'll serve time in a correctional facility. Whether or not justice can be attained, taking this step will give your child the confidence of knowing that you care. 

4. Utilize your soapbox.

We live in a society where people don't want to rock the boat. Yet, the people who molest children are successful because they're confident that none of their victims will reveal their wickedness. Some parents hide under the illusion that they don't want to make their child feel any more uncomfortable by telling the world of his or her wounds, but in reality secrecy only protects our egos. The male friend, whom I mentioned above, told me that his parents notified the police of the situation, however as the abuser was just under 12 years of age, they could not prosecute. The victim's parents took steps to warn other families who associated with the offender's family. The best way to hinder a pervert is to inform those who will listen of the perpetrator's behavior. Alerting others has the potential to save other families and children from going through similar trauma.

5. Seek professional help.

One victim told me that he was better off than many of his acquaintances who'd been molested, because his abuse hadn't been kept a secret. His immediate family, extended relatives, and friends knew of his abuse. It wasn't comfortable having his injury be made public but because people knew what he'd gone through he didn't feel isolated or abandoned. Children need to know that they don't have to go through hardship alone. They need support, council and guardians who will do everything in their power to take down the perpetrators. It is important to know that most victims of sexual abuse during adolescence do not become abusers. Though for many, being sexually abused is the start to a lifelong spiral into the darkest nightmare imaginable. For these reasons it is often wise to seek out professional counsel for yourself and your child. If a child has been sexually abused it is best to contact social services and the police.

Dealing with child sexual abuse is a heavy matter that takes careful consideration and diligent pursuit of the facts. No journey is identical, other than the end goal of healing and recovery for the abused. Some people use their scars to help others to bandage their wounds and heal their hurt. Over all we discover that others have shared our sorrows and if we stand together, we don't have to let our past dictate our future.

Statistics in this article are taken from www.d2l.org. Darkness to Light is a well-cited website and an organization created for the recovery, prevention and awareness of child sexual abuse.

For 24/7 confidential support, contact an abuse hotline:
-USA National Child Abuse Hotline: 1-800-422-4453
-RAINN: Rape, Abuse and Incest National Network: 1-800-656-4673
-Crisis Text Line: text 741741

A Christmas Song

We listened to a number of Spotify playlists during our Christmas celebration yesterday. We all really like this song by Bahamas.



It was a very nice, relaxing Christmas day for my family.

When Your Neighbor's Barn Burns Down

Well, it's been crazy. Not just the usual kind but the wacko kind of crazy. Our neighbor's barn burnt down. 

We could see the huge cloud of smoke from our house.
Here's a picture I took from my bedroom window:

We rushed over there to offer them our farm facilities since they'd be needing somewhere to milk their 130 cows and we have 130 empty stalls. Ever since last Friday it's been a constant buzz of vehicles going up and down our driveway now that there's a huge herd of someone else's cows being milked on our farm. Holsteins, nonetheless. ;) We've had to change a few things in our parlor to make it fit the bigger cow breed, but otherwise it seems to be working out. 
Here's a picture of the other farm's employees milking.... I was helping out, showing them how to operate our parlor set-up.

Today the concrete company my dad works for came and they poured some concrete walls in the parlor. They'll hold the big Holsteins in better than the old, metal railings we had in place before. 

 Hopefully this cement wall will hold the cows in better. ;) Anyways, I thought I'd share this poem I wrote back in 2010. It seems to fit well with the circumstances right now.

The Farmer
 
the farmer labors harder and harder each day
he can't go on vacation when there are bills to be paid
the weather it seems just ain't on his side
when the corn needs rain the ground is dry

the house wife continues hard at her work
sweeping the floors and moping up dirt
her mind is always thinking and planning ahead
working out problems and fighting off stress

with the bank at their heel's and over-due bills
there's always that feeling of climbing up hills
there's never rest nor enough time to relax
just a glass of wine to get by or a power nap

reliable help is seldom to be found
and the few hired-hands are rarely around
they have their own lives and don't understand
the drive for the farmer to hold onto his land

holidays are simply icing on the cake
a bit of cheer to disguise the chances they take
a time to forget the problems outside
and visit with the family be it December or July

winter it seems is constantly hard
things never start up but instead fall apart
the farmer sees the sun coming up at dawn
and knowing it'll be 30 below, puts more layers on

every day he just keeps on moving forward
with his wife by his side and his kids for support
and through the moments of good and times of bad
the farmer cultivates the dreams that he's always had