Comical Like Calvin

Perhaps all this time I have to "sit around" and recover had left me with too much time to think... but as I've been nursing and caring for my son it's dawned on me that his facial expressions are just like my favorite comic strip character, Calvin, from Calvin & Hobbs.

Here's what I mean...

For instance, sometimes at night I'll nurse Wright while laying down. When it comes time to burp him I'm too tired/lazy to sit up so I prop him up on my big squishy belly (I guess that's one perk to having a flabby after-birth belly.... it's like a big water bed for the baby to lay on). He looks something like this:



(this is also a good likeness of myself when Mr. Wright won't sleep at night lol)



And then there's the nights where he's wide awake! Bright eyed and bushy tailed! He always has that cute little look on his face like, "What? I'm innocent!" ...as Mom and Dad are trying to figure out why, after three hours, he's still not sleepy!



I love how when he is sleeping he'll do funny things with his hands like the picture below, and you're like, "Hey, kid! Take it easy or you're gonna scratch your eyeballs out!" Babies have such sharp little nails, too! Yikes...



 This is what happens when we take off his clothes or change his diaper (he has this funny little cry that resembles a donkey's he-haw)...



The craziest, cutest thing ever was the first time Wright laughed in his sleep. His little laugh startled me as I'd been looking away from him and I turned to see his closed, happy eyelids and a huge toothless smile. So precious...



Then there's nursing time. This is by far the most hilarious. When he hasn't had a sip in a while and feels like he's so, so hungry, he'll latch onto the breast with this little grumpy expression as he clutches my boob:



Then he'll close one eye and peep at me with the other. I call this his "one-eyed-Jack" expression:



Then he'll come unlatched and bobble his head around in search of the boob... all the while maintaining the one-eye-Jack face:



He doesn't always have a grumpy face to start off. Sometimes he's a cute little wide-mouthed mister:





When he's almost done with a feeding he'll often have such a sleepy face and I'm constantly having to tickle him to keep him awake enough to finish. I have to remind him that he's not supposed to fall asleep on the boob... even if it is comfy.



And then you get to burping time at the end of a hearty mother's-milk-meal and after a couple huge burps he'll get this worn out look on his face! So cute! Poor fella....

All-in-all he's a cute little dude and he makes Jeff and I laugh so much.

(don't worry... I fixed his head so it wasn't falling out! lol)

He's getting more and more alert too! It's so much fun to watch his bobbley little head checking out his curious new surroundings. We really can't get enough of him!!!

My Birth Story

It's amazing how becoming a mother opens up a door to a world of womanhood that I never thought much of before becoming pregnant. It seems that every time I visit with another mother of any age the conversation now always turns to birthing and raising children.  It's not that I never had such conversations before I was pregnant and giving birth. It's just that they didn't mean the same thing back then. It's like when a friend tells you of their vacation to a foreign land and describes the brilliance of the place but it's not till you go there yourself that you can appreciate and understand the landscape, the local atmosphere and the vibes of the destination. Only now that I've "arrived", (really I've just begun my journey) can I truly appreciate the stories, wisdom and advice I hear from other mothers. Every time babies and birth come up it makes me smile when the mother I'm visiting with begins to share her birth story. It's something we women can't help but share... and something we can't help but want to hear. 

Taken on April 27th.... the day my water broke.

So this is my birth story...

It's been two weeks and four days now since the night things began to change. My water broke at 10:30pm on Friday, April 27th. I'd just put a vinyl fitted sheet on the bed mattress a few days before and it's a good thing that I did (Seeing as I was 2 weeks and 1 day overdue I don't know why I hadn't gotten it on the bed sooner)! I didn't get much rest that night as contractions, bathroom trips and my mind kept me awake. The next day the contractions grew closer and a little stronger but nothing to make the midwife change her morning routine and rush over.  My contractions were, at the most, 5.5 minutes apart all morning and oddly enough they'd get stronger from sitting and resting and go away when I'd move around. My midwife came around noon and we set about doing various things to encourage the labor to progress. I tried the exercise ball, walking around the yard with my husband, and a trip to the park with hubby and midwife to do some brisk walking (I would always get BH contractions when trying to keep up with my husbands long legged walks), lunges up steps and taking two steps at a time up the bleachers by the baseball diamond. Not exactly the most fun but it was nice to get outside in the sunshine.

I was feeling pretty tired by the afternoon and labor still wasn't progressing in spite of the baby seeming to be nicely engaged. My mom joined us around 4 or 5pm. Honestly, I didn't really pay attention to the time. I had terrible back labor that would stretch into my thighs and the only thing that relieved the ache was a back rub. We (meaning my mom, Jeff and the midwife) filled up the birthing pool, lit some candles, dimmed the lights, put some beverages within reach and turned on my Spotify playlist. They all laughed when I climbed in the pool and gave a sigh of delight. So relaxing! Oh, so the birthing pool was pretty neat. It was a brilliant but redneck pool made up of a stock tank (provided by the midwife at no extra cost), pillows and a white bed sheet under a sheet of plastic, held in place by bungee chords. After a while my husband thew on his swim trunks and hopped in there with me. We both thought it was a pretty ideal hot tub and if it weren't for the fact that I was in labor it would have made for a pretty romantic way to spend a Friday night. But the midwife kept us on track and had Jeff rub my stomach between contractions to stimulate them. For whatever reason my uterus never responded the way most women's do during labor. I never had intense stomach contractions. Just insane back labor and little braxton hicks contractions that didn't hurt at all. The contractions that I did have were irregular and not very close together. When it came time for pushing I'd literally have to watch for the top of my belly to harden in order to know that I was having a contraction and start pushing.

The midwife decided I should take castor oil... which I really didn't want to do and put it off until around 8pm or so. It was supposedly tasteless and odorless but let me tell you, it's like trying to drink motor oil or peanut butter. Ugg. Not only that but I quickly discovered that it gives you the runs! ...or should I say the shoots?!! The castor oil definitely livened labor up, so I was in active labor for probably 7 hours (2 of which were hard pushing at the end). By the end I was quite convinced this kid was never coming out and I didn't think I could do it any more. I was so tired and it hurt so bad to push. Perhaps I was too tired to quit, but in my mind there were no other options but to continue on until a baby arrived. Thank the Lord, the midwife checked the baby's heart rate continuously and it was always a steady 130. Labor didn't seem to bother the little boy who didn't seem to want to come out. Finally after pushing for a good hour and trying a million different positions and tricks to get baby down and out my midwife checked my cervix (she is usually hands off unless necessary so we hadn't done any checks up to this point) and she discovered that I had a cervical lip of sorts that was holding baby back. This explained everything because the baby's head was very low and I was fully dilated for hours. We check dilation with the old butt crack method. I'd never heard of it until I met my midwife but apparently there's a seam or a line between your butt cheeks that gradually turns purple. It's like a thermometer and the purple line rises the more you dilate. Pretty amusing really!
Anyway, once the lip was out of the way baby came in 45 minutes. I'm very glad my midwife is "hands off" but I wish we would have figured that out sooner as it could have saved hours of labor. The excitement wasn't over yet though. I wasn't able to have a water birth thanks to the castor oil and an incontinent BM in the pool (ewww!) so I finally wound up in the bed. The baby's head crowned. I could finally see my child which gave me hope that it would soon be over. Everyone laughed when I asked if they could just pull it out! I was so exhausted and ready to be done. Plus, nothing could ever prepare you for the intense burn of delivering a child vaginally. I had discussed with my midwife ways to prevent tearing because that was something I REALLY didn't want to experience. She'd told me that she'd never had a bad tear in her time as a midwife and due to the way the baby was progressing my midwife was confident that I wouldn't tear! When the baby had crowned most of the way and my mom said another push would reveal the eyebrows and ears (baby was face down), I gave a big push and the whole baby shot out! I was too tired to realize that baby's aren't supposed to come out in one big burst. Normally the head is born, and then the shoulders followed by the body. I tore..... really bad. In fact they thought it might have even been a 4th degree tear!

My son was born at 5:09am and after nine months I finally held him in my arms. I remember thinking he was so big! I tried to nurse him and eventually Jeff cut the cord and someone wrapped his wet body in a blanket. After that I don't remember a whole lot. I remember resting and trying to sleep as the midwife and my mom were cleaning some things up and monitoring my condition. They were concerned that I was losing too much blood (My midwife said normal blood-loss would be around 500ml and that I'd lost around 1200ml). The midwife gave me a shot of pitocin but it didn't seem to do anything. She finally decided I should go to the ER just to have them check me over in case I needed some blood. They were going to drive me but when I stood up to leave the bedroom I fainted. Jeff called 911.... the poor guy had trouble remembering our address! I layed on the bed until the EMS guys showed up. They transferred me to the local hospital which was a few miles down the road. They never did have to give me blood but I had to have antibiotics because my white blood cell count was elevated. Since we'd left in such a rush, they hadn't weighed or measured the baby, so my mom and the Dr. put him on a scale and he was a hearty 8lbs. 3 oz.! We didn't get him measured until later that night but he came out to be 20 inches long.
(Oh, and a funny side note: while I was in the hospital getting stitched up, Jeff and my dad had to change Wright's first big poop! Jeff's first time changing a diaper! When the midwife came for a check-up the next day and weighed Wright again, he was down to 7lbs. 8oz. Goodness, that was one big poop!)

Jeff & Wright, a few hours after birth.

Eventually, they transferred me to another hospital where they could take care of the tear. They thought I'd need surgery but luckily the specialist who repaired my tear determined that I only had a 3rd degree tear and he was able to use local pain killer and stitch me up in 15 minutes. No surgery, no more antibiotics and no stay in the hospital. (though I honestly wouldn't have minded being put out for surgery as I was so tired and would have welcomed the "nap"). I experienced a lot of firsts on April 29th. First time having a baby. First ambulance ride (and I had two in one day!). First time getting a catheter (since they kept me on a stretcher or an ER bed/table the whole day). First time being stitched up. I'm probably forgetting something.....

 After being discharged from the hospital my brother snapped a photo of the three of us together. Three very sleepy human beings.

That wasn't exactly how I figured birth would go, but I knew it wouldn't be easy. It was worth whatever trouble I went through, though. I'm so thankful I was able to have a home birth and that I had such a supportive team to help me through the process and help Jeff and I get through the crazy first week of Wright's life. I was so weak from losing blood and sore from the stitches that I had to have help just to make it to the bathroom and back without fainting. In fact I was naughty and tried showering two days after giving birth and fainted in the shower. Jeff happened to come in and check on me just in time to catch me and prevent me from really hurting myself. Yesterday was my first day at home, alone with Wright. It's nice to feel normal again (for the most part). It's crazy learning and getting used to caring for a little man and trust me, sometimes the sleepless nights get the best of me. Yet, I wouldn't have it any other way. This little guy makes Jeff and I laugh so much.... and sometimes I cry over how beautiful and wonderful he is. These postpartum hormones are nuts. What a privilege and a blessing it is to be a mother! My mind often wanders to who he'll be when he's older and I already worry about doing a good job of raising him up. I let him know often how much mommy, daddy and Jesus love him and I can't wait till he can understand how much Jesus really loves him.

 
But I have to remind myself to just be in the moment and soak up every second with my son. They don't stay little for long. We weighed Wright on Sunday and he's already 9lbs! Good heavens!
Speaking of soaking up the moment.... I'm off to nurse my little guy.