Reminiscent of New Years Eve 2016

We settled into my parent's home just in time for the holiday cheer this December. I realized that I've only lived away from my parents home for just under a year and a half which is a rather humorous fact. Christmas was always an exciting time of year in my parents home. We had the biggest, best tree, with perfect decorations and presents that were so plentiful that the tree skirt was nowhere to be seen. The best was plugging in the lights at night and basking in the glow of their twinkle. And then..... we stopped doing presents and Christmas trees. No more glorious smell of pine filling up the house. No more presents on Christmas morning. December just wasn't the same.
Not to mention I had strong negative emotions tied to Christmas. One of the last years we celebrated Christmas traditionally I was in a courtship with a guy who I'd been quite infatuated with for a number of years. We'd been courting for a total of three weeks starting in the beginning of December and then on Christmas Eve he wouldn't talk to me and pretty much ignored me the whole night. By Christmas morning he acted like nothing had happened and was jolly and merry with the whole family but he didn't really interact with me much. Finally by Christmas evening I asked him what was going on. He told me he wasn't going to break it to me on Christmas but since I asked he was breaking up with me. Of course that ruined Christmas for me and since I was young, "in love" and it was my first relationship ever it was heartbreaking. It amuses me now to think about but Taylor Swift came out with her version of "Last Christmas" and so that really came my melancholy heartstrings a song that resonated well with my sad spirit. Oh, the teen years! 
As it happened that was probably one of the last years that my family really celebrated Christmas in the traditional manner. We stopped doing presents as it had grown to be a financial burden and we discontinued doing a Christmas tree as well. We still got together with family and had a special meal together but it wasn't the same. At least that's how I felt.

Fast forward to 2016. I met Jeff in February at an organic farming conference. We barely spoke but we kept bumping into each and so at the end of the three day event we swapped info and later found each other on Facebook. We messaged a little on Facebook and then didn't talk again till November. Jeff messaged me asking if he could stop by for a visit and stay at our farm on his way to his family's home in Canada. Of course I said yes and we began messaging frequently after that. The more we messaged the more we discovered we had in common and things grew serious. We were sharing life stories and discussing future desires. By the time he visited it was not so much a question of did we want to be in a relationship but when. 

Two years ago today Jeff cornered my dad as he came out of the restroom during a Christmas Eve party with my mom's family. He asked my dad if he could court me and as he and my mom had already discussed the issue and knew my feelings on the matter he gave Jeff his permission. I think that's the best holiday season I've ever experienced. The excitement and thrill of getting to know Jeff through messenger during Thanksgiving, having him visit just before Christmas and then beginning a courtship with him on New Years Day. That's enough to make any woman's heart full of joy! The funny part was that my dad assumed Jeff informed me of my dad's consent for us to be in a relationship and Jeff assumed my dad had filled me in and I was clueless. When we woke up the next morning, New Years Day 2017, my parents sat us down and were talking about the seriousness of being in a relationship and marriage... etc. I thought maybe they were taking matters into their own hands since Jeff and I had been talking so seriously the past two months. Then over breakfast they said something about announcing it in church and by that point I was freaking out. I thought they were going to scare Jeff off for sure and that they were being rather forward! So I was opposing all of their suggestions and felt quite uncomfortable. My dad did announce it in church that we were courting and that was actually the first time I was informed of our courtship. Quite a surprise, though a very pleasant one. Oh, life is amusing isn't it?!
 
The rest is history. Needless to say the joy and bliss of the Christmas and New Year season has returned and is much more beautiful than I could have ever imagine. Redeemed and made wonderful by Jeff coming into my life. The hurts of past Christmas's pale and are forgot in the radiant memories of 2016 and 2017.
At last, 2018 has come to a close leaving blessings in it's wake. A new child, our first anniversary, and 20 acres of land that we can call our own till the end of our days. It has been a good year.

Best Buys of the Year

You know when you find a remarkable product and you just can't help chirping about it to all your friends? Well, that's what this post is about. Three really cool, life improving items that I'm really glad I spent our hard earned dough on (thanks to my hard working hubby!).

ONE: Silicone baking cups. 
Sure the cute paper liners are adorable and a lot of fun.... if you like eating paper with your treat. It was a batch of muffins when finally I said enough is enough! It was a delicious pumpkin bread muffin but as usual half the muffin was sticking to the paper and I felt like a nut try to scrape off the last little crusty bits of goodness. No more. I ordered these reusable cups that make perfect, beautiful cupcakes and muffins. Hallelujah!

TWO: Then there was The Life Planner.
Actually I didn't buy this one for myself. My Aunt actually drove three hours to show the ladies in the family how life changing having a planner was. We were all thinking, sure, sure.... just another fancy dust collector, when the calendar works just fine. In order to prove her point she gave us each a planner. The year was half over so she was able to purchase them on a sale but half a year was long enough to convince me. You gotta try one. They are colorful and bring more joy to the daily, weekly and monthly scheduling process. They cost around $55... which comes out to a cost of $0.15 a day for a fun, useful and essential organization tool. Actually, the cheapest planner costs $35 and RIGHT NOW they have a 20% off on all their planners.

THREE: My favorite purchase...
I bought a Tempdrop and now I'm trying to convince all my lady friends to get one! It's a wearable thermometer that tracks your basal body temperature. What's so cool about this device is that it takes your temperature numerous times throughout the night (or day if that's when you sleep). I've never tracked my BBT without my TempDrop but I've heard horror stories from gals about how you have to take it at the same time every morning with a thermometer, before you stir in bed or get up. This must make it REALLY hard to get an accurate reading. And what happens when you want to sleep in? Or if you get up in the middle of the night for a snack or a trip to the bathroom? This can affect your reading. But not with a TempDrop!
If you're not married and in the baby making season yet you might be thinking you don't need one. But you do. Here's why: When you're single you have more money to spend freely. Whether it's a cup of coffee, a new dress or a tank of gas, money is easier to spend when you're single and don't have a family to feed. Take advantage of this time to prepare for your baby making days! Not only that but tracking your BBT isn't just about fertility. It's about knowing your body. I wish I would have started learning my body's signs before getting married. I had terrible periods occasionally where I'd be throwing up, faint, and have all sorts of other unpleasant symptoms. My cycle was longer than most womens and it would occasionally change on me due to stress or other things. Had I tracked my BBT I could have better know and prepared for my cycle and perhaps even learned how to change my diet and environment to establish better health. To add to the list I could have gone into marriage knowing when I was and wasn't fertile.
Which brings me to the reasons why I think you should get a TempDrop if you're in your baby making years. So many women are on unnatural forms of birth control that do a lot of damage to their bodies. TempDrop allows you to track when you ovulate and when you're fertile and not fertile. This could be an answer to prayers for some couples who are having more trouble trying to conceive!! The big bonus and selling point for me was that it works while breastfeeding. In spite of waking up numerous times throughout the night to nurse my little guy I can still track my BBT. It takes about two months of consistent wearing/data for the TempDrop to gather enough info to give you accurate feedback. If you think of how much people spend on contraceptives or fertility treatments over the course of a woman's lifetime this is SO CHEAP. How could you NOT afford to buy one?

There are a few different companies offering devices like the Tempdrop but my friend recommended this one to me and I really like it.  The added bonus is that you can get referral candy! ....which means that if I tell you about TempDrop and you buy one, I get $10 and you get $10 off! Pretty awesome, if you ask me!

FOUR: the Waterpik
My dentist recommended a waterpik to me and I've heard people talking them for a while but who spends $60 on a machine that takes up space in your bathroom when you can buy floss? Well, I did. My assessment? It's revolutionized oral hygiene. It takes a little testing and trying to figure out how to use a Waterpik efficiently without spraying down the whole bathroom, but after that it's a breeze. It cleans your teeth better than a toothbrush and leaves them feeling smoother than your honey's buns! But seriously.... for me floss is a thing of the past or perhaps something you carry in your purse for emergencies. Like those occasions when you go to a restaurant and leave with half a piece of pineapple stuck between your teeth! Dental health hasn't always been my strong point as my mouth as small and some of my teeth are hard to get to. The Waterpik has numerous attachments that make it easy to reach all those teeth in the back of my mouth. I wish I would have purchased one a long time ago.


What have you bought this year that's made your life more enjoyable, easier and exciting?
It's been a good year with some fun finds. Can't wait to see what next year brings!

Where have I been?

How is it already December? Worse yet, how have I missed blogging for most of the year?! I guess blogging is on the back burner when you're married and have a baby to care for. Not to mention all the craziness that's occurred this year. Living in Brodhead, WI in a camper while my husband worked on a job from May to August. Then house hunting, putting in three offers to purchase and having them all fall through.... only to find the most perfect 20 acre parcel of land to buy! Which we did.... with the help of our friendly, neighborhood banker. All resulting in moving out of our apartment and into my parents house. Perhaps that's why I'm drawn to blogging. Just being in the home where I grew up brings back old habits, routines and memories. Blogging has been a big part of my life. Why stop now?

But yeah, that's the big news of the day. Moving back in with the family. It's strange, and cool all at the same time. We have one room all to ourselves.... 13'x13'. It used to be the boys room, so you can imagine all the dust, dirt and boogers we had to scrub off the walls. Once cleaned and repaired we painted it a light, lovely color of pale, warm yellow with a milk white for the ceiling and trim. We managed to squeeze a futon bed, a bookshelf with a TV on top, two dressers, a recliner chair and Wright's pack-n-play that he sleeps in. Not bad for one little bedroom. Thankfully there's a closet to store our odds and ends in!

Anyway, now it's the Christmas season and I've been enjoying listening to the Christmas tunes and decorating the house with my sister Janelle! We have a good time together now. :)

Comical Like Calvin

Perhaps all this time I have to "sit around" and recover had left me with too much time to think... but as I've been nursing and caring for my son it's dawned on me that his facial expressions are just like my favorite comic strip character, Calvin, from Calvin & Hobbs.

Here's what I mean...

For instance, sometimes at night I'll nurse Wright while laying down. When it comes time to burp him I'm too tired/lazy to sit up so I prop him up on my big squishy belly (I guess that's one perk to having a flabby after-birth belly.... it's like a big water bed for the baby to lay on). He looks something like this:



(this is also a good likeness of myself when Mr. Wright won't sleep at night lol)



And then there's the nights where he's wide awake! Bright eyed and bushy tailed! He always has that cute little look on his face like, "What? I'm innocent!" ...as Mom and Dad are trying to figure out why, after three hours, he's still not sleepy!



I love how when he is sleeping he'll do funny things with his hands like the picture below, and you're like, "Hey, kid! Take it easy or you're gonna scratch your eyeballs out!" Babies have such sharp little nails, too! Yikes...



 This is what happens when we take off his clothes or change his diaper (he has this funny little cry that resembles a donkey's he-haw)...



The craziest, cutest thing ever was the first time Wright laughed in his sleep. His little laugh startled me as I'd been looking away from him and I turned to see his closed, happy eyelids and a huge toothless smile. So precious...



Then there's nursing time. This is by far the most hilarious. When he hasn't had a sip in a while and feels like he's so, so hungry, he'll latch onto the breast with this little grumpy expression as he clutches my boob:



Then he'll close one eye and peep at me with the other. I call this his "one-eyed-Jack" expression:



Then he'll come unlatched and bobble his head around in search of the boob... all the while maintaining the one-eye-Jack face:



He doesn't always have a grumpy face to start off. Sometimes he's a cute little wide-mouthed mister:





When he's almost done with a feeding he'll often have such a sleepy face and I'm constantly having to tickle him to keep him awake enough to finish. I have to remind him that he's not supposed to fall asleep on the boob... even if it is comfy.



And then you get to burping time at the end of a hearty mother's-milk-meal and after a couple huge burps he'll get this worn out look on his face! So cute! Poor fella....

All-in-all he's a cute little dude and he makes Jeff and I laugh so much.

(don't worry... I fixed his head so it wasn't falling out! lol)

He's getting more and more alert too! It's so much fun to watch his bobbley little head checking out his curious new surroundings. We really can't get enough of him!!!

My Birth Story

It's amazing how becoming a mother opens up a door to a world of womanhood that I never thought much of before becoming pregnant. It seems that every time I visit with another mother of any age the conversation now always turns to birthing and raising children.  It's not that I never had such conversations before I was pregnant and giving birth. It's just that they didn't mean the same thing back then. It's like when a friend tells you of their vacation to a foreign land and describes the brilliance of the place but it's not till you go there yourself that you can appreciate and understand the landscape, the local atmosphere and the vibes of the destination. Only now that I've "arrived", (really I've just begun my journey) can I truly appreciate the stories, wisdom and advice I hear from other mothers. Every time babies and birth come up it makes me smile when the mother I'm visiting with begins to share her birth story. It's something we women can't help but share... and something we can't help but want to hear. 

Taken on April 27th.... the day my water broke.

So this is my birth story...

It's been two weeks and four days now since the night things began to change. My water broke at 10:30pm on Friday, April 27th. I'd just put a vinyl fitted sheet on the bed mattress a few days before and it's a good thing that I did (Seeing as I was 2 weeks and 1 day overdue I don't know why I hadn't gotten it on the bed sooner)! I didn't get much rest that night as contractions, bathroom trips and my mind kept me awake. The next day the contractions grew closer and a little stronger but nothing to make the midwife change her morning routine and rush over.  My contractions were, at the most, 5.5 minutes apart all morning and oddly enough they'd get stronger from sitting and resting and go away when I'd move around. My midwife came around noon and we set about doing various things to encourage the labor to progress. I tried the exercise ball, walking around the yard with my husband, and a trip to the park with hubby and midwife to do some brisk walking (I would always get BH contractions when trying to keep up with my husbands long legged walks), lunges up steps and taking two steps at a time up the bleachers by the baseball diamond. Not exactly the most fun but it was nice to get outside in the sunshine.

I was feeling pretty tired by the afternoon and labor still wasn't progressing in spite of the baby seeming to be nicely engaged. My mom joined us around 4 or 5pm. Honestly, I didn't really pay attention to the time. I had terrible back labor that would stretch into my thighs and the only thing that relieved the ache was a back rub. We (meaning my mom, Jeff and the midwife) filled up the birthing pool, lit some candles, dimmed the lights, put some beverages within reach and turned on my Spotify playlist. They all laughed when I climbed in the pool and gave a sigh of delight. So relaxing! Oh, so the birthing pool was pretty neat. It was a brilliant but redneck pool made up of a stock tank (provided by the midwife at no extra cost), pillows and a white bed sheet under a sheet of plastic, held in place by bungee chords. After a while my husband thew on his swim trunks and hopped in there with me. We both thought it was a pretty ideal hot tub and if it weren't for the fact that I was in labor it would have made for a pretty romantic way to spend a Friday night. But the midwife kept us on track and had Jeff rub my stomach between contractions to stimulate them. For whatever reason my uterus never responded the way most women's do during labor. I never had intense stomach contractions. Just insane back labor and little braxton hicks contractions that didn't hurt at all. The contractions that I did have were irregular and not very close together. When it came time for pushing I'd literally have to watch for the top of my belly to harden in order to know that I was having a contraction and start pushing.

The midwife decided I should take castor oil... which I really didn't want to do and put it off until around 8pm or so. It was supposedly tasteless and odorless but let me tell you, it's like trying to drink motor oil or peanut butter. Ugg. Not only that but I quickly discovered that it gives you the runs! ...or should I say the shoots?!! The castor oil definitely livened labor up, so I was in active labor for probably 7 hours (2 of which were hard pushing at the end). By the end I was quite convinced this kid was never coming out and I didn't think I could do it any more. I was so tired and it hurt so bad to push. Perhaps I was too tired to quit, but in my mind there were no other options but to continue on until a baby arrived. Thank the Lord, the midwife checked the baby's heart rate continuously and it was always a steady 130. Labor didn't seem to bother the little boy who didn't seem to want to come out. Finally after pushing for a good hour and trying a million different positions and tricks to get baby down and out my midwife checked my cervix (she is usually hands off unless necessary so we hadn't done any checks up to this point) and she discovered that I had a cervical lip of sorts that was holding baby back. This explained everything because the baby's head was very low and I was fully dilated for hours. We check dilation with the old butt crack method. I'd never heard of it until I met my midwife but apparently there's a seam or a line between your butt cheeks that gradually turns purple. It's like a thermometer and the purple line rises the more you dilate. Pretty amusing really!
Anyway, once the lip was out of the way baby came in 45 minutes. I'm very glad my midwife is "hands off" but I wish we would have figured that out sooner as it could have saved hours of labor. The excitement wasn't over yet though. I wasn't able to have a water birth thanks to the castor oil and an incontinent BM in the pool (ewww!) so I finally wound up in the bed. The baby's head crowned. I could finally see my child which gave me hope that it would soon be over. Everyone laughed when I asked if they could just pull it out! I was so exhausted and ready to be done. Plus, nothing could ever prepare you for the intense burn of delivering a child vaginally. I had discussed with my midwife ways to prevent tearing because that was something I REALLY didn't want to experience. She'd told me that she'd never had a bad tear in her time as a midwife and due to the way the baby was progressing my midwife was confident that I wouldn't tear! When the baby had crowned most of the way and my mom said another push would reveal the eyebrows and ears (baby was face down), I gave a big push and the whole baby shot out! I was too tired to realize that baby's aren't supposed to come out in one big burst. Normally the head is born, and then the shoulders followed by the body. I tore..... really bad. In fact they thought it might have even been a 4th degree tear!

My son was born at 5:09am and after nine months I finally held him in my arms. I remember thinking he was so big! I tried to nurse him and eventually Jeff cut the cord and someone wrapped his wet body in a blanket. After that I don't remember a whole lot. I remember resting and trying to sleep as the midwife and my mom were cleaning some things up and monitoring my condition. They were concerned that I was losing too much blood (My midwife said normal blood-loss would be around 500ml and that I'd lost around 1200ml). The midwife gave me a shot of pitocin but it didn't seem to do anything. She finally decided I should go to the ER just to have them check me over in case I needed some blood. They were going to drive me but when I stood up to leave the bedroom I fainted. Jeff called 911.... the poor guy had trouble remembering our address! I layed on the bed until the EMS guys showed up. They transferred me to the local hospital which was a few miles down the road. They never did have to give me blood but I had to have antibiotics because my white blood cell count was elevated. Since we'd left in such a rush, they hadn't weighed or measured the baby, so my mom and the Dr. put him on a scale and he was a hearty 8lbs. 3 oz.! We didn't get him measured until later that night but he came out to be 20 inches long.
(Oh, and a funny side note: while I was in the hospital getting stitched up, Jeff and my dad had to change Wright's first big poop! Jeff's first time changing a diaper! When the midwife came for a check-up the next day and weighed Wright again, he was down to 7lbs. 8oz. Goodness, that was one big poop!)

Jeff & Wright, a few hours after birth.

Eventually, they transferred me to another hospital where they could take care of the tear. They thought I'd need surgery but luckily the specialist who repaired my tear determined that I only had a 3rd degree tear and he was able to use local pain killer and stitch me up in 15 minutes. No surgery, no more antibiotics and no stay in the hospital. (though I honestly wouldn't have minded being put out for surgery as I was so tired and would have welcomed the "nap"). I experienced a lot of firsts on April 29th. First time having a baby. First ambulance ride (and I had two in one day!). First time getting a catheter (since they kept me on a stretcher or an ER bed/table the whole day). First time being stitched up. I'm probably forgetting something.....

 After being discharged from the hospital my brother snapped a photo of the three of us together. Three very sleepy human beings.

That wasn't exactly how I figured birth would go, but I knew it wouldn't be easy. It was worth whatever trouble I went through, though. I'm so thankful I was able to have a home birth and that I had such a supportive team to help me through the process and help Jeff and I get through the crazy first week of Wright's life. I was so weak from losing blood and sore from the stitches that I had to have help just to make it to the bathroom and back without fainting. In fact I was naughty and tried showering two days after giving birth and fainted in the shower. Jeff happened to come in and check on me just in time to catch me and prevent me from really hurting myself. Yesterday was my first day at home, alone with Wright. It's nice to feel normal again (for the most part). It's crazy learning and getting used to caring for a little man and trust me, sometimes the sleepless nights get the best of me. Yet, I wouldn't have it any other way. This little guy makes Jeff and I laugh so much.... and sometimes I cry over how beautiful and wonderful he is. These postpartum hormones are nuts. What a privilege and a blessing it is to be a mother! My mind often wanders to who he'll be when he's older and I already worry about doing a good job of raising him up. I let him know often how much mommy, daddy and Jesus love him and I can't wait till he can understand how much Jesus really loves him.

 
But I have to remind myself to just be in the moment and soak up every second with my son. They don't stay little for long. We weighed Wright on Sunday and he's already 9lbs! Good heavens!
Speaking of soaking up the moment.... I'm off to nurse my little guy.

A little overdue humor.

How do you like that title? LOL .....that's my pun for the day. ;)
Anyway, in spite of the fact that it takes a lot of work responding to the many people who want to know if my baby has arrived yet I really don't mind answering their questions. It just boggles my mind as to why they ask since I'd let everyone know if the baby had made it's appearance. But I guess I've been guilty of being curious and pesky so I can't really get too feisty about it all.

Nevertheless my friend Hannah sent me these memes this morning that made my day! I had to share them with you!

My friend Nora shared this hilarious website with me. People would probably get offended if I actually suggested they visit it but I get a good laugh out of the thought....
 haveyouhadthatbabyyet.com


A line from one of my favorite movies always pops into my head. I did actually post a clip of it from YouTube on Facebook with this caption: "When people want to know why the baby hasn't arrived yet and overdue mom's be like..."

Anyway, I suppose I have too much time on my hands and should take such things more seriously. I know most people are just concerned and have the best intentions because they care and wish the best for my little family. I appreciate all the thoughts and prayers and don't know what I would do without such a wonderful support group! People who I can bounce my random pregnancy symptoms off of and who assure me that everything will be all right. I'm very thankful for the people in my life. Yes, even the snoopy, extra curious ones. ;)

It's a due date...

Today I've hit 42 weeks of pregnancy. I've had so many inquiries about the baby coming.... but little to answer questions with because not much has changed from two weeks ago. I think the baby has grown some and I've acquired more stretch marks as a result. My feet get hot at night and I seem to be waking up a little more frequently. Not to mention the weird dreams. But you can't make a baby come if mom is healthy and baby has a good heartbeat, is still kicking a lot and is not ready to be out of the womb.

The most frequent question I get is, am I going to be induced? By the end of this week I'll start looking at alternative/natural ways to encourage my body to go into labor, yet even with that I don't feel a rush to get things going. It would be so nice to just naturally go into labor. In fact, I'm not sure why a lot of moms rush to have their babies be born.... it just doesn't make any sense to me. God has a way of working things out in His own time and why would we treat the 3rd trimester any different than the 1st or the 2nd? I think a lot of it has to do with the expectations that we humans put on ourselves. We have timelines and ways to try to organize life and any time something diverges from the expected path we start to worry because of our need to control every little detail. We forget that we really have very little that we can control in life besides our own actions/reactions to the events and people we come across day to day. We forget to wait on the Lord. Psalm 27:14 says, "Wait on the Lord: be of good courage, and he shall strengthen thine heart: wait, I say, on the Lord."

One friend commented on Facebook, "It's a due date, not an expiration date." There's so much truth in that statement. I understand that there are plenty of times when it is necessary to use certain means to bring a baby into the world asap, and I am thankful for doctors and tools that we have in such situations. Yet, if these medical interventions are not necessary, why would anyone want to rush a miracle? Ecclesiastes 11:5, "As thou knowest not what is the way of the spirit, nor how the bones do grow in the womb of her that is with child: even so thou knowest not the works of God who maketh all."

People tell me they are surprised that I am so patient... yet not once have I considered that I had any other alternative but to be patient. I have learned to be patient through other circumstances like waiting for my husband to come along. That only took 25 years. What then is 9 months? Of course I am excited to meet this little being that's been kicking around in my womb for weeks. Of course I wonder, wish and wait. But I have faith that it won't be long before all of my curiosities and questions will be answered and that day will be delightful.

Psalm 127:3 “Lo, children are an heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is his reward.”