Infatuation vs. Love

1. Infatuation almost always leaps quickly into bloom. Love usually takes root more slowly and it grows with time.

2. Infatuation is accompanied by a sense of uncertainty. You are stimulated, thrilled, and filled with a kind of feverish excitement. You are miserable when he or she is absent. You can’t wait until you see them again. Love brings a feeling of security. You are warm with a sense of nearness even when he or she is away. Miles do not really separate you. You want the person near, but you know you can wait.

3. When you are infatuated, you may lose your appetite. You may daydream a lot. You can’t concentrate. You can’t study. You can’t keep your mind on your work. You may be short-tempered and unpleasant with your family. When you’re in love, you’re just the opposite. You can be sensible about your loved one. You feel more secure and trusting. Love gives you new energy and inspires you to do more than you ever dreamed possible.

4. Infatuation brings that feeling that you can’t wait. You can’t take the chance of losing him or her. When you’re in love, you know you can wait. You are sure of one another. You can plan for your future with complete confidence.

5. Infatuation may stem from a desire for self gratification. You wish to be identified with the person. You want your friends to see that he or she has chosen you. When in love, there is always a deep concern for the welfare of the loved one; you are far more focused on him or her then you are on yourself.

6. Infatuation may be merely physical attraction. If you are honest, you may discover that it is often difficult to enjoy each other unless you are leading up to sexual activity. Sex is also a natural and spontaneous part of love, but only a part. If your love is real, you will enjoy a deep friendship with a loved one. You will truly enjoy each other without being physical.

7. Infatuated couples may find it easy to disagree. When you’re in love, although your personalities may be quite different, there is an eagerness to hear the other side; to give as well as to take; to compromise.

8. Infatuation hardly ever thinks of the far future. What will the person be like thirty years from now? What kind of parent will he or she make? What kind of home life will we have? Love is more concerned with the future, wanting to grow and build a life together.

9. You may fall into infatuation, but you never “fall” in love.

10. Infatuation my lead you to do things you feel are wrong, things that worry you. But love will never pressure you to compromise your values or violate your boundaries.

11. Infatuation may lead you to try to become someone you are not to try to win the person’s approval or acceptance. Love embraces your differences, celebrating who you are as a unique and valuable human being. Love brings out the best in both people. “Why do I love you? I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you.”

From the book, "Guys Like Girls Who..." by Chad Eastham